Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 493 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Aaaand they're off! Again!

Freddy and Kendra are engaged. And would you like to know what they do? Oh, they're models. I know! It's a coincidence of multiple-Steve proportions that there would be so many models in one season! Freddy tells us he's ten years older than Kendra is. Look, they ride a motorcycle! He tells us that he's ready to start a family, and she says that he seems to think she'll want to have kids after the race is over, but she's not so sure. Well, certainly sounds like they've thought the whole "being engaged" thing through pretty well. Oh, and in her interview, she's wearing a purple bandana on her head, of which I do not approve. (I don't approve of the bandana, not of her head. Although...we'll see.)

Meredith and Maria are best friends and roommates from Queens, and they've got the same long, wavy, perm-look hair. Meredith says that they're "two funny girls." In fact, Maria does a kick at the camera just to prove how wacky they are. Wacky! Maria adds that they're both "friendly" and "charming." And humble.

Dear Everyone Whose Hair Or Hats I Have Ever Made Fun Of: I Apologize. Sincerely, Miss Alli. Because the next team up is Adam and Rebecca, and if you have ever seen anything more moronic than Adam's hair, you are a more well-traveled person than I am. I swear to God that what I am about to tell you is the truth: Adam wears, in the very front of his hair, right at the top of his forehead, two tiny hair horns. They're teeny teeny little ponytails, about an inch long, and about the width of pencils. I cannot even describe the sheer idiocy of this look, except to say that if he thinks it doesn't make him look like Pebbles Flintstone, he's utterly deluding himself. The real challenge is trying to figure out what could have possibly made him think of that in the first place. It's unclear to me how a guy can possibly sit down and say to himself, "You know what guys just don't take enough advantage of? Tufts." Anyway, he and Rebecca are ex-lovers who are, as Phil says, "trying to rekindle their relationship." Gee, let me think about whether I can think of anything he could do to make her more attracted to him and facilitate the rekindling. Nah, nothing comes to mind. I'll get back to you if I come up with anything. Adam explains in an interview that they met at the gym where he works, but I am totally not paying attention, because he is El Hornio, and he has come for your soul. As they work out, she voices over that they broke up because of "lack of communication." Apparently, it was not because El Hornio kept stealing her banded elastics, although I bet that was a bitch, too.

Amazing Race

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