Amazing Race
The Game's Afoot

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Aaaand they're off! Again!

Commercials. Shut up, Ty Pennington.

When we return, Meredith and Maria are trying to make their way to the waterfall, having gone pitifully off-course. They modestly call this "pretty disconcerting." Yeah, I'd say so.

Kris and Jon, on the other hand, are on their way to the glacier, with Lena and Kristy right behind them. And then, in fact, Lena and Kristy pass, which Kris calls "pretty ballsy." Incidentally, despite Kris/Kristy and Jon/Jonathan, I would like to take this moment to thank casting for having no multiple Daves or Steves and no identical twins. My life is a lot easier when that's the case, as it has not been since Season One.

Now arriving at the glacier shuttle are Hayden and Aaron, who indeed apparently got with the program and didn't allow all those suckers to blow right by them. And behind them are Lori and Bolo. Then Lena and Kristy and Kris and Jon. These teams all pile out and head for the shuttle sign-up, and there are only three teams to a shuttle, as it turns out. (And, you will notice, there are only supposed to be four shuttles. Make a note.) So on the first shuttle out will be Hayden and Aaron, Lori and Bolo, and the Hellcat Sisters, who eked out that spot from Kris and Jon. Avi and Joe are the next to arrive, and then Hornio, so those two teams will share Kris and Jon's ride on shuttle #2.

The first shuttle departs, as El Hornio looks on unhappily with great envy. Kris and Jon hug, saying that they wish they were on the first one. I'm sure the hugging eases the pain. If I were his girlfriend, I'd do that all the time, too. "I am sad! Give me a huuuug!"

BUMP-BUMP-BUMP! Here we are with Spazpants, looking for the glacier. Victoria tries to provide some guidance from the map, and Jonathan says that she's "so, so wrong." Brilliantly, the editors include him saying, "You need to figure out where your boundaries are," which Jonathan says apparently without irony, unaware that if she had any ability to do that, she would most likely vanish in a puff of smoke, leaving him all alone with nothing to console him but his blue hair and his fantasies of being a "superhero." As she gets out and asks directions, he casually tells her he's getting a divorce. You can almost hear her family screaming in excitement and wondering whether that comment was a legally enforceable promise of any kind. He snatches the map away from her, and the two of them go and "listen" to a local give them directions.

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Amazing Race

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