Amazing Race
The Game's Afoot

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Aaaand they're off! Again!

I have a feeling Meredith and Maria took a hell of a long time to get there and people suspected they might have been eaten by...whatever Iceland has, because when they finally arrive, everyone applauds. Mmm, patronizing! They pull the final 11:30 departure time and fall down in the snow. Wacky broads.

Spazpants has some kind of a team powwow in which Victoria says she was thinking he was bringing her over to yell at her some more, and he orders her to "calm down." She interviews that Jonathan is "so intense" (DRINK!), and she's "a normal person." I don't know about the last part. As to his attitude, he claims that it's "really affecting" her, although it's hard to believe she's surprised, since he seems to be like this constantly. He tells her that it's actually her fault, because with anyone else, he wouldn't have to be giving her all these orders. Oh, totally. Nothing soothes hurt feelings like, "It's not me, it's you." "Well, maybe you should have taken someone else," she says. "Maybe I should've," he agrees. Lord, get the hook. Jonathan interviews that the problem is her failure to "step up and realize the competitiveness of what's happening here." I'm sure that's it. She then tells him that she's going to change her name, because she's so sick of hearing him yell it. That would be a tiny bit funny if it weren't so unbelievably depressing.

Commercials. I admit that uncoordinated guys dancing is a pretty reliable device.

The next morning, the racers slowly wake up. "We're cold," El Hornio remarks intelligently. "Morning, baby," Jonathan creeps. "Morning," she chirps back. "Do we love each other again?" he asks. "Mm-hmm," she says. Icy fingers grip my spine. Victoria interviews that she's just going to take all the crap he dishes out, because she wants to win, and she knows fighting is counterproductive. That's why she's not fighting with him on the race. Still a mystery: the part where she's married to him. My favorite part is where we move to Don and MJ sharing a smooch, and then there's a big shot of the sign where their departure time tag was, which now says simply, "TAKEN." Heh. Taken, indeed. That was very nice. He tells her she looks like "a Russian peasant" in her knit hat; she giggles and teases back that he looks like "a Stanford dummy" in his college cap. Hee hee. In other news, Lena still hates camping. And I'm not sure I needed to see Gus's underpants as he's getting up, but aside from a very select group, I don't really want to see anyone's. Gus uses snow to bathe himself, so I'm sure he smells fresh as a daisy now. Bolo just wants to "get the hell out of here." "Ah'm so cold mah implants're frozen!" Lori remarks as they board their shuttle to leave the glacier. Snerk. Hayden doesn't have implants or doesn't wish to discuss them, so she simply says that she can't feel her toes. Hey, everybody freezes differently. Their shuttle leaves.

When it drops them off, they get into their SUVs, which have clues on the dashboards. Phil explains that the new clues require them to drive more than 20 miles to a "Glacier Ice Beach." Bolo and Lori take off along with Hayden and Aaron. Hayden is irritated by the knowledge that Bolo and Lori are going to try to follow them, but there's nothing she can really do about it. She suspects them of being "so shady" that they'll jump out and snag a clue after following Hayden and Aaron all the way there, and...I suspect so. But again, there's very little you can do. Aaron tells her not to freak, since they're in first place, after all.

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Amazing Race

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