Amazing Race
The Game's Afoot

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Aaaand they're off! Again!

Spazpants pulls over for Blue Lagoon directions. I certainly wouldn't talk to them, and I don't think the people they accost want to, either. But the locals ultimately give up the information that the Blue Lagoon is right nearby.

Finally -- finally -- Avi and Joe find the buoy. They hug. They're very happy to see that they're headed to the pit stop at the Blue Lagoon. As they return to shore and hop off their boat, Avi says, "Aloha, welcome to the Big Island, everyone!"

Gus and Hera find the buoy and grab their clue. Pit stop, baby. At the same time, we see Don and MJ headed for the ice climb. Studs! And Lori and Bolo are driving toward the pit stop at last, it appears, but she is having some trouble letting go of their earlier map problems. "We made a mistake; let's get past this," he says. "We? WE?" she comes back. "I made the mistake. I'm admitting it. Let's get past this, okay?" She isn't quite ready to get past it, because she's still having fun kicking his ass, apparently. She goes on about how she should have listened to her gut and not trusted him and blah blah blah. He throws the map at her. She throws it at him. Neato. Oh, and he says something about "Keep running your mouth like a dumb-ass redneck." Er, I'm not sure either person in a pair of professional wrestlers gets to use class-based insults. They argue more, she blames him more.

Commercials. David Hasselhoff!

When we come back, it's still Lori and Bolo, and they're still fighting. They're also apparently still lost. When he finally gets her to turn around, she says, "We're last now, thanks." I would say that this is going to get old, except that it already is old, and we're not through the premiere yet. Too much fighting! Ack. "We're not last," he says. "Oh, yeah, we are," she insists. If you would like to hire her for your next seminar in positive thinking, you can call her at 1-800-QUIT-NOW.

Lena and Kristy are headed for the Blue Lagoon, and they now seem to have the navigating under control. Jon and Kris, too. But when we join Avi and Joe, we learn that they have decided to gamble on the back roads rather than sticking to the highway to the Blue Lagoon. Hera is concerned that she and Gus are last, but says that "all [they] can do is get there."

Hayden and Aaron pull up to the pit stop. They seriously doubt that they can possibly be first, but they are relieved to see Phil and a blonde greeter who, to the surprise of many, is not Bjork. Hayden clutches what I believe is the battery pack for her microphone (heh, she'll get used to it) as she runs up to the mat. They are welcomed, and Phil says that they're team number one. Aw, they're cute. And Phil gives them a trip to Hawaii as well. And then Hayden gives Phil a hug, which seems to catch him off-guard and makes that eyebrow pop in a whole new way. And then Aaron gives him a hug that catches him even more off-guard. "Whoa, okay," Phil says, trying to smile. People, get your hands off Phil. What is the matter with everyone all of a sudden? Where's the dignity? "We're very loving," Hayden snarks semi-apologetically. Hee. Hayden says in an interview that they're "pumped up."

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Amazing Race

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