Amazing Race
The Princess Reminded Me Of My Grandmother. She Was Very Old But Still Very, Very With It

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He ain't heavy, he's my lobster

Previously on That's A Lot Of Bull: Why put all your Indian entertainment eggs in one leg's basket? Why not spend another couple of days exploring the trains, animals, and fecal matter of a culture different from your own? Tian and Jaree almost died in their cab, while David and Jeff went to a guy's porch and looked for a train in vain. When they finally found it, the twenty-four-hour train ride spelled U-P-G-R-A-D-E for everyone but Millie and Chuck, but unfortunately no new merriment showed up to spell the dog-tired "Millie Mole" non-hilarity. Much to the disappointment of their growing fan base, Tian and Jaree futzed the Roadblock, suffered from a mental mistake at the Detour, and faced the agony of Philimination. "Who will be eliminated..." Capitol security is beefed up after one member of Congress calls another "The Honorable Mr. Ninnyhead." "…Next?" Of course, now, they have cheapened the "next." How can I trust the "next" now? The "next" is dead to me.

Credits. This Week's Fun Fact You Can Learn From Zaprudering The Credits With The Assistance Of TiVo: Apparently, this race will eventually include a giant squeeze bottle of French's mustard. [BOMP.]

Commercials. Man, would you get a decent mop already? I can't believe how gross your floors are. What's this sticky stuff?

Snappy cuts and tense, percussive music bring us back to Alleppey, India, where Phil explains we won't be for long. I'm sure that whoever edited this would like me to draw your attention to the whiz-bang effect where a guy crosses the screen with a bag slung over his back, and as he walks past, the back of his bag drags along the transition to a shot of Phil by the lake. That's some fancy-pants work there. I feel like I'm watching The Peterson Family's Disney World Adventure, edited on their very own iMac. Or possibly a PowerPoint presentation with wacky sound effects where your first bullet point comes in with the sound of a window breaking and your second one comes in with the sound of squealing brakes. But anyway, this week, Phil has brought us a short-sleeved brown button-up, which certainly is better than the sweaters, style-wise, but...was there no print more attractive than that alternating brown/other-brown striping? That looks like the awning outside a really dirty restaurant. We see the teams during the pit stop, at one point crossing a walkway of some kind that allows Al and ClownJon to show off their semi-tightrope-like skills. Phil actually mentions "eat, sleep, and mingle" this week, because it appears that we are actually going to spend some time observing these very activities. We see the remaining five teams sharing a meal together, where Reichen is explaining how much he loved being in the Air Force. "I got out because I'm gay," he says. Reichen goes on to explain in an interview that he and Chip decided that with just five teams left, they'd tell the other teams they were a couple. Now, I realize that it's easy for me to say, having known they were married since the first episode, but would the other teams really not know they were a couple? I think they're extremely couple-y in behavior, and it's hard for me to imagine that not being pretty clear, but again, it's easy for me to judge, I guess.

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Amazing Race

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