Amazing Race
The Princess Reminded Me Of My Grandmother. She Was Very Old But Still Very, Very With It

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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He ain't heavy, he's my lobster

At any rate, Reichen tears up as he explains to the group that he met Chip while he was still in the Air Force, and that the two of them got married a year ago, and this is actually their anniversary. A congratulatory round of applause goes up around the table as the camera pans around...to show that Millie and Chuck alone are sitting stone-faced and not offering any congratulatory anything. Well...right. Because what's to be happy about when people love each other and have had a really rough go of it, and are now spilling their guts to you and obviously very nervous about how you're going to react? Love? Feh! Other people's happiness? Yuck! In truth, the whole thing would be really funny if it weren't so sad. I mean, the very idea of Millie and Chuck standing in judgment of anyone's relationship? So ironic it makes my head hurt. It's like having your environmental policy scoffed at by Texaco.

At any rate, Al says in an interview that this pit stop served as a good opportunity for the last five teams to put the race aside and spend some downtime together. Back at the breakfast table, Millie tells the others that she and Chuck have been dating for twelve years. "Twelve years?" Kelly says. Millie confirms it. "Except, uh, we're virgins, too, so..." Chuck adds. The hell? Apparently Chuck has confused Get To Know Each Other Day with TMI Day. In case he's wondering, Millie saying they'd been dating twelve years was analogous to the Chipsters saying it was their anniversary. Saying they were virgins, however, would be analogous to Reichen having added, "Oh, and Chip enjoys being spanked." Which I now wish he had. Jon expresses his shock in just about the way Chuck was asking for, and then Kelly tells the group that she and Jon got engaged right before the race. "We've been livin' in sin," she says, and Jon adds, obviously referencing Millie and Chuck's big announcement, that they "had sex the first week." Chuck sits with his arms crossed, looking cold and disapproving, which makes me wonder why in the hell you would open up a conversation about your "sex" "life" if all you were going to do was sit around steely-like as everyone else discussed theirs. The way Jon says to Chip and Reichen, "Who cares about you guys? Virgins?!" kind of makes me think the other teams also found it a rather bizarre trampling of the moment.

In an interview, Jeff says that "the race really isn't about your sexual preference, or whether you're a virgin or not a virgin, or whether you're a whore in the bedroom [he doesn't say 'respectively,' fortunately]...it's really about two people working together and taking advantage of their strengths that they have." Amen to that, you Who, you. Still, while this isn't what the race is about, it's all very telling. Jeff is sure that "the best team will ultimately win." I'll have to take his word for it. Incidentally, he's got the sunglasses on top of his head, and you know how much I love that. Not.

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Amazing Race

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