In an interview, Nancy tells us that when they skipped the Detour, they weren't trying to cheat. They were trying to get out of the situation, and I think we all get that. Nancy feels bad, because she wanted to quit, and she pushed Em to quit, and now she's having the truly disgusting, DISGUSTING realization that the very thing she and Emily have wanted so, so badly for so, so long -- to beat the Guidos -- was available to them, and they didn't hold it together long enough to collect. And it stinks. Woulda been a great story, wouldn't it? The arrogant Guidos recline in their air-conditioned hotel room, sure of their hefty lead, while the scrappy Momily recovers from adversity and scrambles to the finish, leaving Joe and Bill to stand agape while Phil tells them they're toast? It's hard to imagine a more satisfying ending for those of us who aren't Guido fans. And it's hurting Momily to realize how close it was to happening just that way. But, que sera sera. Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.

Emily cries.

Then she voices over, quite correctly, that nobody took them seriously at all from the first leg -- when they came in second-to-last, you'll recall -- so she thinks they substantially outpaced expectations. It's quite true that they made a remarkable recovery, and they did a heck of a lot better than I, for one, was expecting. She goes on to say that she and Nancy haven't always been terribly close, but the race has "opened a whole new door in [their] relationship." Nancy feels like "the luckiest mother in the world." And that, while it's not first prize and a million bucks, is pretty good too.

But don't get me wrong -- we're all going to be tasting the bitterness from this one for quite a while. Sigh.

Executive producer? Jerry Bruckheimer.

Next week: Joe has learned NOTHING about humility from his experience this week, judging from his smug expression. Rob hurts himself, which is bad, but he's all dirty, which is good. Kevin and Drew keep bickering. Team Guido wear their hats which -- and I'm going on record right now -- I hate more than the Hating-Hats. Yes. More than the Hating-Hats.