Amazing Race
The Unexpected Twist

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Coulda had 'em

Kevin and Drew, in their cab, read the clue that says they have to get from Bikaner to Delhi either by train or by bus. Drew also snaps, "Drive!" at the driver, and once again, I am reminded that everybody desperately needs a nap and a foot massage. We are Philled in that the train, while faster for traveling any given distance, takes longer because of its circuitous route, whereas the bus goes straight from Point A to Point B, so although it's kind of nasty and has to deal with traffic, it's the quicker option. Nice twist on the cheap-and-slow versus fast-and-pricey game they've played several times in the last couple of episodes. In the cab, though, the Frats haven't caught on. "I can't imagine that it wouldn't be just quicker to just sit on the train," Kevin says. Meanwhile, Drew is sick of the sand in India, and Kevin points out that there isn't really any sand to speak of. Drew is speaking of gritty dirt, so the boys do a little semantic cha-cha about the distinction between sand and dust, culminating in Drew spitting that "this whole country is sand." Aaaaand it's time to get Drew out of India.

5:08 PM. Frank and Margarita. She's wearing another one of her spiffy headwraps, and she and ex-LPFrank are on their way. A guy tells them that the bus and the train are basically six of one, half-dozen of the other. Margarita tells us that the Danza Division of Labor is flourishing. "I let him take charge of certain things, I do other things," she says. It certainly would appear that they've found a better strategy than they had at first, when he was in charge of yelling and she was in charge of rolling her eyes. Anyway, they have "ultimate respect," yada bling blooey.

5:10 PM. Rob and Brennan. You know, I have to confess something. My original plan was for this to be the ogle-free recap, because last week was sort of the overboard-ogling recap, which was getting kind of, you know, embarrassing, and making me look like a girly freak. So I was going to take a week off (not that this was going to be easy -- as you know, arms are my anti-drug). I was. I really, really was. Tragically, however, I think you will agree that this entire episode is a giant van Munsterian conspiracy to bodily seize me and force me to objectify these defenseless attorneys, which is something I feel very, very bad about. Really. It hurts me more than it hurts them. Therefore, I am foiling this wicked plot by employing a new technique of therapy designed to help me kick the ogling habit. The way it works is this: Every time you're tempted to ogle, you substitute an innocuous comment that has some redeeming social value to the reader. So, for the remainder of this recap, whenever I am tempted to ogle, I will instead give you a piece of trivia about the great state of Minnesota. For example, instead of "Mmmm, shoulders," I would say, "Minnesota's own 3M developed Post-It Notes and Scotch tape." Get the idea?

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Amazing Race

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