The teams set out for Malaysia, with Mirna somehow managing to find flights on the internet better than the ones the travel agents know about. Uchenna and Joyce, meanwhile, book a connection that's fairly clearly too tight, and when they do in fact miss their connection, they vanish from the episode about 15 minutes in. For the next 40 minutes, we watch as Charla and Mirna incinerate themselves by picking an obviously horrible needle-in-a-cookie-stack Detour option, then Danny and Oswald go back and forth from one Detour to another owing to the uncomfortable fact that Danny is (1) really irritated about not being listened to and (2) mistaken about what the Detour option requires. During a Roadblock about recycling (really!), Mirna manages to find a few fans, and she's kind enough to impart wisdom to them that they couldn't have gotten elsewhere, unless they watch old episodes of ALF. The BQs awesomely Yield Eric and Pink, who of course sit around and discuss how this makes the BQs "dirty hookers" and of bad character and phony and so forth, because after all, only a person of bad character actually tries to beat you. Mirna and Charla, of course, agree. The show edits the ending as a tight race between Oswald and Danny and Eric and Pink, trying to make it pretty stressful when Eric and Pink edge out the beloved boys. But then in the last five minutes of the episode, we see Uchenna and Joyce again. They finally make it to Kuala Lumpur, but when they get there, they are sent directly to the pit stop. They know this can't be good news, and it isn't: they're eliminated. With almost no screen time during their own elimination episode, either. Harsh.
Previously on You Don't Want To Know How Reality Shows Or Sausages Are Made: Adventures in Poland stretched out over two hours, during which teams were mercilessly bunched and unbunched. An Intersection brought about some alleged female bonding, while Eric and Pink proved that they are not power eaters. Clues were found in mannequins and fake dead composers, and everyone learned a little something about awkwardness during a midnight visit to Auschwitz. In the end, the lovely Team Guido was unable to survive the dreaded "marked for elimination" penalty, though they will now live on in our memories forever wearing armor. Hee.
Credits. Kandice really does have that pageant stance down. Shoulders back! Boobs out! Major accomplishments unnervingly ignored! [BOMP.]
Commercials. As I think I've told you before, Olay's thermal face thing is awesome, and they no longer have to convince me of anything. If they did, I would not necessarily be convinced I needed a thermal foot thing.
Krakow! (The city, not the sound effect.) (Or the brooding teenager.) Phil says that this fine city used to be the heart of the government part of Poland, but now it's the heart of the hearty part of Poland, where the culture and art and hipness thrive. Much like Minneapolis, if you think about it. Just outside the city is the castle that served as our pit stop during this season, which is sort of another Tour Of The Castles thing. The stage is set for Eric to be tossed into a moat, and if it doesn't happen soon, I'm going to feel like I was ripped off. In this scene, Phil's brown jacket = good. Phil's turtleneck-y shirt = cranked-up dork.
9:48 PM. Oswald and Danny and Uchenna and Joyce, leaving in a clump just as they arrived. The clue tells them to fly to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Joyce talks about how there are only five teams left, "down to the wire," and so forth. Everybody's working hard, all the teams are zzzzz... could they not get anything else from the interview footage? Anything? Something interesting that someone read in the paper? An embarrassing bathroom anecdote? Because I think I've learned all I can about how everyone's really stepping up their game and you have to [conk]. Sorry, that was the sound of me dozing off.
Uchenna and Joyce decide to go to the hotel and try to book flights from there. Oswald, meanwhile, talks about thirteen years of ups and downs with Danny, and how the way they are resolved is the way you can truly judge a relationship. Hmm, I must say, that doesn't sound promising. Uchenna and Joyce head for the concierge desk, while Oswald and Danny elect to work out of their room. The better to steal from the mini-bar, is what I think. The concierge tells Uchenna and Joyce that the earliest flight out is a 7:00 AM flight to Frankfurt, and Danny and Oswald get the same information on the phone in their room. This itinerary carries a potential arrival time of 6:40 AM the next day. The problem with this route, though, is that there is only a one-hour layover in Frankfurt for the (international) flight to Malaysia. Oswald asks the person on the phone about this, and is told it's "a very tight connection." Joyce tells Uchenna it's "kinda risky." Presumably, the other thing you'd want to find out is how many other options you're going to have to get from Frankfurt to Kuala Lumpur should you miss your flight, but if Uchenna and Joyce ask this question, we don't hear about it. I mean, there are situations where missing your connection isn't so bad. If you miss a Minneapolis to Chicago flight, you can get on another one ten minutes later. I'm not sure Frankfurt to Kuala Lumpur has the same advantage.