Amazing Race
The Way You Look, Yeah

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Hey, Guys, Wait Up

Speaking of that noise and the fucking thereof, Charla and Mirna are still biting cookies. "Come on, everybody cheer us on!" Mirna demands of the nearby locals. I'm surprised at the precision of her sentence structure. Maybe she thinks locals only understand English when they're in groups. Someone yells out, "Go Charla!" Interesting. This particular person only yells for Charla, but Mirna says in an interview that "we" have a lot of fans in Malaysia. She apparently doesn't recognize the local translation of "histrionic crapweasel." She says that all the recognition was great, because it boosted her ego. Wow. I think if Mirna's ego is boosted any more, she's going to bump her head on doorways, but that's just me.

Oswald and Danny are still looking for the clue box on the bridge. No! Stop being lost! No brain fog!

Charla and Mirna are beginning to tire of biting cookies, no matter how many locals cheer "them" on. "It's a lot harder than you would think," Mirna says. Actually, I would have thought 600 boxes of cookies was kind of a lot, and I might have therefore chosen another task. Seriously, needle-in-a-haystack combined with a variation on volume eating? I mean, if you only get 1 percent of that cookie stuck to your mouth to the point where you wind up swallowing it, you and your teammate will wind up eating six boxes of cookies before you get through all of them. Bite-and-spit does not completely protect you. This is a bad, bad task.

Dustin and Kandice get to the batik station, and they note that there's nobody there. They observe the stamping of the cloth and the dyeing. They count the repetitions of the pattern across and down, and then they start stamping. They grin, thinking this isn't so bad. And they would think that even more if they saw what the tables of cookies look like.

At last, Danny and Oswald find the clue box on the bridge. When they get there, they see that Eric and Pink have been Yielded. Yielded! As to the business of the Detour, Danny immediately concludes that the cookie Detour will be faster. "Six hundred boxes of cookies?" Oswald asks, incredulous. Danny nods. "Than this?" Oswald wonders again, pointing at the batik instructions. Danny insists the batik "will take forever." "Ay, Danny, I don't know," Oswald worries, but Danny tells Oswald to trust him. Uh-oh.

Eric and Pink find the clue box and run to the sign where they see that they've been Yielded. "Dustin and Kandice Yielded us, those dirty, dirty hookers," Eric says. I know he stole it from Anchorman, but... it's still just so tacky and lame. If you can't come up with an insult for women you don't like that's better than hooker/whore/slut/woman who won't sleep with me (oh, I'm sorry, the last one is subliminal), you're really not even trying, and if you're plagiarizing, you're trying even less. "All they really did was just make enemies for no reason," Pink snots of the BQs. Now, you're going to hear her say this a few more times, and it's obviously false, because either (1) the Yield disadvantages Eric and Pink, in which case it's not "for no reason," or (2) the Yield does not disadvantage Eric and Pink, in which case it doesn't need to be the reason for enemies.

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Amazing Race

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