Amazing Race
The Whole Country Hates Me

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Chile con queso

Uchenna and Joyce are on the way up, as are Lynn and Alex, and they peek out and see Debbie and Bianca and Meredith and Gretchen coming down. "Gretchen and her husband?" Alex asks in some shock, probably figuring that the oldsters should instead be stuck somewhere adjusting their teeth. Meanwhile, Gretchen says with rather hilarious seriousness, "We've got to shop till we drop." And...you really can't use that expression earnestly, pretty much ever. ["Amateur." -- Sars] Lynn and Alex and Joyce and Uchenna both choose the shopping, and they wind up on the same funicular back down as Susan and Patrick. Patrick thinks this means they can all "help each other out," while Uchenna thinks it means they can "pass some teams here." They may be having a very slight miscommunication, but Patrick certainly does have many complex plans for a guy who's looking at the backs of so many heads right now.

Debbie and Bianca get a cab for the bookstore; Meredith and Gretchen get one for the market. "Mercado Central," Gretchen bleats at their driver. Her voice grates like I cannot tell you. Lynn/Alex and Susan/Patrick get cabs, as Lynn invents the expression "el mucho rapido" for his driver's benefit. "The lots of fast," it means, approximately. Uchenna and Joyce are off to the market as well. Meredith and Gretchen and Gretchen's annoying voice are first to arrive at the market. They wander inside, talking about how they need to find the restaurant to get their recipe. Inside, the chef gives them an ingredient list. "This is for you," he says in his commanding chef way. They first note that they need a three-kilogram fish. Meredith acts like that's the biggest fish he's ever heard of, despite the fact that it amounts to about a six-and-a-half-pound fish, which means he may have spent too much of his life fishing for lake perch and is overly easily to impress.

Rob and Amber arrive at the Library of Congress. They take their books out and start to shelve them as a guide looks on. Ron and Kelly arrive next. As they start shelving, Rob and Amber's guy tells them that they have 180 books, as they're supposed to, so they're getting their clue. "Currently in 1st Place," they receive a clue that tells them to get to the next pit stop. Phil explains that they now have to taxi it about a mile, and then find a Neptune statue where the pit stop is located. And the last team "may" be eliminated. Rob and Amber scamper out of the library. Ron and Kelly, meanwhile, are informed that they've brought 112 books with them, so they need 68 more. Kelly takes a moment to re-snot that they should have brought all of them the first time. Ron allows that they probably should have, not that it makes much of a difference now. Outside, an excited Rob gives a "rapido" to their driver as they head for the pit stop in a taxi. The lots of fast!

Ray and Deana are struggling toward the library. She complains that he ran over her ankle; he protests that it wasn't his fault instead of apologizing, which is sort of stupid. Because who cares? You still conked her ankle, dummy. You don't really need to deconstruct the "oops," because it's not like it costs you anything. They check their map again. Ron and Kelly arrive back at the bookstore, and she comments casually that they need 78 books. Ay yi yi. He corrects her: "How about 68?" She just stands there like she has to remember how to do math. Wait, how much was swimsuit worth?

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Amazing Race

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