Amazing Race
The Whole Country Hates Me

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Chile con queso

In the morning, all the lemming teams have found their way onto the express bus by following the herd and doing very little of their own work, and they'll all be tied when they arrive in Arequipa. Good thing somebody checked, eh, guys? Joyce explains that it was about a ten-hour bus ride, and that it was pretty. Happy deedle-deedle music plays as Brian and Greg are seen flirting on the bus with Megan and Heidi. They all liiiiiike each other, see? And Megan and Brian have "sparks," but presumably not the intellectual kind. Not exactly flint and steel in that department. More of a popsicle-stick/cheese-log vibe I'm getting, there.

And now, Rob has a new plan, probably made more attractive to him by the self-righteous nonsense to which he was just subjected back at the bus station. He explains to the bus driver that when they get to Arequipa, he'd like the driver to open the front door first, and not the back door, at first. And then he greases the guy with a little money. Rob then explains for the camera that this was a collaborative effort between Uchenna and Joyce, Ray and Deana, Ron and Kelly, and himself to pay the driver to open the front door only. They all chipped in five sols to pay off the driver. But as Rob explains with a chuckle, he actually only paid the guy 15 sols, and he never put in his five. Hee. Of course, he did do all the work, so they don't have a hell of a lot to complain about.

It's not the way I most enjoy seeing the game played, as I've often said, but I'm not bothering to get up a head of hate about it, because it would require hating the other teams who participated in it equally. I mean, you can't let people off the hook just because they take advantage of dirty work but don't do it personally. So to me, you have to either hate all four of these teams or none of them, and I choose to hate none of them. Also, Rob amuses me, and seeing people like Lynn and Alex and Debbie and Bianca go into spittling fits over being outplayed entertains me as well.

When the bus gets to Arequipa, the four teams involved in Doorgate pile off the front of the bus through the front door. They hop into taxis while someone on the bus yells, "That is not cool!" Hee. Ultimately, the bus driver opens the back doors, and the other teams, still complaining about their lot, scramble off the bus. They get into taxis. The fact that they got off the bus in the back and hadn't even had a chance to make it up to the front before the back doors opened suggests to me that it was an extremely short delay before the back doors were opened, so it's not like it was going to turn into a riot.

The four Doorgate teams are still happy heading for the shoeshine union, and Uchenna gives a hearty, "Beep beep beep." Because sometimes, the horn needs a little help. Besides, it appears that it's that or a lot of "andale, andale, arriba, arriba." In which case I'm sure the driver will take the pseudo-honking. The first team to hop out at the right spot and run up the stairs is Ray and Deana. They tear open the clue, and it's the season's first Roadblock. Phil explains how Roadblocks are done by only one person, and tells us that they've kept the six-Roadblock limit per team member, so that's a good development. He says that in this task, the Roadblocker has to "work in the busy local shoeshine business." Each person will pick a "local shoeshine representative," and damn, if some of those shoeshine representatives don't look rough. And when I say "rough"? I'm saying I think they've breathed some fumes over the years. Then the Roadblocker will need to find five people on the street who are prepared to pay one sol (roughly 32 cents) for a shoeshine. When they're done, they'll get themselves to the headquarters of the shoeshine union, and they'll get their clue. In what strikes me as maybe not the right choice, Ray takes this Roadblock for his team and heads out to the street. Meanwhile, Rob and Amber and Ron and Kelly are hustling up the stairs. Amber takes the task, and Ron, saying that he knows all about shoeshine stuff from the Army, takes it for his team. Is there anything Ron didn't learn from the Army? I'm surprised we didn't hear last week that he worked in the Army's top-secret llama unit. Joyce takes it for her team, and in a sequence that certainly makes it look like the bus door didn't stay shut for very long and the advantage gained wasn't very significant, Lynn takes it for his team. I don't initially know which blonde or which brother it is, because I really, really can't tell them apart, in either case. Debbie and Susan, and then a late-arriving Gretchen, round out the shoeshiners. Everyone scrambles into "official" shoeshining shirts. They remind me briefly of Wal-Mart uniforms, but then it occurs to me that the shoeshiners certainly can't be affiliated with Wal-Mart if they have a union.

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Amazing Race

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