Amazing Race
The World Is Waiting: Go!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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It'll be just like starting over

Speaking of the other flight (on "the other carrier," unshown and unspecified, because it is The Official Airline Of Communists, Off-Key Singing, And Dairy Products Past Their Expiration Dates), it lands. Danny and Oswald, Gary and Dave, Peggy and Claire, and Deidre and Hillary pile off. Into the cabs they go. Danny comments, "Dude! I'm in Brazil!" Why yes, Danny. You are. Calm down. Gary, angling for his Funny Points and missing by a mile, says (in Spanish, incidentally, and not Portuguese) that he has to get to the statue in order to convert, because he's Jewish. I'm sorry, but...what? Is it a joke now just to say you're Jewish? I understand that some people found this funny, and it's more than obvious that he meant it to be funny, but boy. I didn't get it at all. In their cab, Peggy moans to Claire that "there's no way [they] can compete with those young kids." I have to say that I'm not sure why they're there, if this is what they think. I mean, I understand being intimidated, but I don't get the whining. It's not like someone tied them up and made them come, is it? I don't like these two. And that makes me feel bad. Anyway, Claire comes back that they have to "make every effort." Sigh. Now Claire tells us that she's a breast cancer survivor (and all appropriate respect for that, obviously), and so she's more of a go-getter than she used to be. Hmm. Okay.

Hey, here comes a speedy little boat, right up to Team Jeebus's Deserted Dock! Ha! On the ferry, the other teams wonder where Jeebus went. Jeebus went on the fast boat, is where they went. Ha, again! They whiz by on a hydrofoil, right past the big, slow ferry. Excellent. This is that Bruckheimerian/Van Munsterian plot manipulation that I love so very, very much. The twists! The turns! The aaaaagony! Hee. I missed you, Bert. Of course, Cyndi has to ruin it by attributing the hydrofoil to "God's grace." Okay, I'm going to have a lot to say about this as we go, but suffice it to say that my personal God is way too busy to put a hydrofoil in the path of a particular team. This is my God Doesn't Do Free Throws, The Oscars, Or Reality Television theory. Learn it, live it, love it.

Speaking of God, we're back at The Really Big Jesus, where the four trailing teams are finding the clue. Claire complains about the number of stairs. Okay, seriously, this is beginning to be like taking someone's not-very-fun grandma on a trip with you where she has to go to the bathroom every five minutes and always thinks the car radio is too loud. I mean, not to compare teams, but seriously, I don't remember Davey and Margaretta whining nearly this much. (Miss Alli's Mom: "Do the race, or don't do the race, but shut up about it.")

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Amazing Race

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