Amazing Race
The World Is Waiting: Go!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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It'll be just like starting over

Here comes the Tara and Wil gondola. I hate them.

Blake and Paige are butt-kicking rappelers. Interesting. The twins? Are a bit nervous. OneTwin tells us that he's happy he has a "clean pair of shorts." Uhh...thanks. That's a little bit too much information there, OneTwin. Meanwhile, Russell takes off. He immediately racks himself against the rocks -- pow. Blake and Paige and the Twins are off and done.

Now this is eerie. In an almost exact replica of last season's premiere episode, Loud Pushy Wil (sorry, that's really not fair to Loud Pushy Frank ["word -- and it needs the word 'Weaselly' in there somewhere" -- Sars]) smacks Tara in the head as she gets ready to rappel. What the hell? I mean, she's smiling, but can this guy get a new joke, other than the how-much-of-a-jerk-he-is joke?

Blake reads the post-rappel clue, which sends them to a yacht, which is the actual pit stop. Last one in will probably not last long enough for a nickname. Blake says that "every second counts." Yawn. Phil repeats the clue details, including the fact that basically they're supposed to go to a particular beach, from which they can see the yacht they need to get to, and then they get a boat to take them out to the yacht itself. The arrival mat is much fancier this time around -- the yellow bathmat of Bill falling on his fanny has been replaced by a large, snazzy, black-yellow-red mat that looks like it's slip-proof.

Wil, rappelling. This is just like watching the Olympic skating, because I'm entertaining myself by going, "Fall! Fall!" Here, Tara reveals the genuinely disgusting fact that Wil's motto is, "Where there's a Wil, there's a way." I am seriously going to put this guy across my knee and wallop him. Making up a motto that involves a pun on your own name is quite possibly the grossest thing since matching outfits.

Mary and the Fruit read the clue, as does Team Drawl, who I'm kind of getting to like also. Once again, this show seems to have cast largely relatively normal people, and that's certainly going to make all of our lives a little easier. The last thing I need is to deal with freaks. Oswald and Danny and Chris and Alex pick the rappel, as has everyone else. Meanwhile, Tara and Wil finish the rappel, and Blake and Paige grab a cab for the flag-spotting beach. Blake and Paige seem to slip a little, perhaps not quite knowing how to instruct their driver. Tara and Wil, on the other hand, jump on a bus, despite not knowing exactly what they're doing. Wil mentions that in this race, you can turn around and find another team "breathing down your throat." Please, please -- let's not explore what he means by that, or exactly who he would like to have breathing down his throat. Anyway, Tara and Wil get lucky and spot the flag quick, and they head for a boat to take them where they need to go. Whatever.

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Amazing Race

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