Wil and Tara are having a fight that manages to look both contrived and really, really irritating at the same time. "This way?" Wil asks. "That way?" She says no to both. "What do you mean 'no'?" he says, like a total moron. In an interview, Tara says that they've been separated for two years (or, as Guido would say, they lived in Estrangement for two years), but they're still friends, they still "hang out," and they still "do stuff." Yeah, I'll bet. Because nobody else is going to "do stuff" with either of you, and there's only so much "stuff" you can live without "doing," I suppose. Although when Wil is involved? Ew.
Deidre and Hillary miss the turn. Oops. Hillary interviews that her parents got divorced when she was six, and her mom adds that the race is going to be great for their relationship. Sigh. In their interview, their clothes are perfectly coordinated. It's like Garanimals Live!
Drunken cameramen careening. Twenty miles to Vegas. When they see the twenty-mile sign, Danny and Oswald start celebrating, but when Oswald starts touching him from the back seat, Danny cautions, "I'm driving, I'm driving." Hee. Oswald tells us that people often assume that he and Danny are a couple, but they're not. But then he says that they are, "for all intents and purposes, married to each other." Um, okay. You know, if you say things like that a lot, Oswald, I can understand why people are confused. Oswald's shirt looks like Pepto.
Gary says that the best thing he and Dave can do as a team is "be underestimated." Well, you're off to a good start, fool. Dave calls the team "two funny, crazy best friends against the world." No one who has ever made that statement has been able to back it up, and I am not kidding. Furthermore, God, Gary looks like Woody Allen. I mean, it is downright unsettling. And considering that Woody Allen himself gives me the creepy-crawlies, someone with a creepy resemblance to Woody Allen gives me what I guess are the creepy-crawlies squared.
Everybody wants on the first plane. Have we mentioned that would be the American Airlines plane? Because American is The Official Airline Of Winning A Million Dollars? As teams arrive at the airport, and in a move that totally reaffirms my faith in the intelligence of airport security, Gary and Dave are stopped by a cop. When Gary says, "We got pulled over by Johnny Law over here," it occurs to me that in addition to looking like Woody Allen, he sounds like Andy Dick. Could you pile on any more reasons for me to hate him? I mean, short of him smelling like Howard Stern, there's really nowhere to go from here. Anyway, everybody gets stopped (Wil, for some reason, dances back and forth while declaring it to be "part of the game") and it seems that this provides a mild bunching effect. Phil says that there are only enough spots on the first flight for seven teams, and then the last four will take a later flight.