Amazing Race
There's No Crying in Baseball

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 2 USERS: C
Driven Mad

The first train pulls into Bangil and everyone hops off and runs for the becak stand. James at first wants to ride in a separate conveyance from his partner because they're both so damn big, but then they end up riding together after all. Jaymes interviews, "We are in Indonesia. It's not designed for two gentlemen who are six-foot-four." They do look pretty ridiculous crammed into one rickshaw, especially since they picked one with a roof. They look spring-loaded. "It looked like we were on our honeymoon," Jaymes interviews. I know it seems like James never talks, but he's trying; he just seems silent in comparison to Jaymes and his high-volume running commentary. The teams all get going. Josh & Brent go off on their own to find the egg shop while the other teams go straight to the park and unsurprisingly get there first. Amid the watching crowds and musicians playing creepy wind instruments with smiles built onto them, the racers are put into brightly decorated pants to start with. There are plenty of other circus-type performers there including one guy who's cracking a bullwhip, except it's bigger than a bullwhip, so it's more like he's booming an elephantwhip. "We don't get hit with that, do we?" Ryan says nervously. I'm pretty sure it would take your head off, champ. Jaymes and James excitedly talk about how privileged they are to get to be a part of this event, like it's an annual thing that just happened to fall on the day they got here, and before nine in the morning, no less. Abbie's the first one to be helped into her mask, which on top of everything else seems to have a small tent hanging from it. The Chippendales also get masked, which is when they discover that part of it rests in your mouth somehow. Not that we get to see inside the mask; we have to take their word for it. But I believe them because as they head to the parade route, they're talking to each other like they're both in dentist chairs.

The parade guide leads Abbie & Ryan down the street surrounding the park. I can tell it's them by the subtitles, because the giant masks completely obscure their faces. Ryan says he can see "All of one centimeter out of this thing," but they manage to roughly ape the leader's broad movements, turning around and then dropping to one knee briefly. Ryan interviews that they'd be done if they drop it because then they'd have to go back. And they'd probably also have to go to the dentist for real, I'm guessing. James & Abba are also doing the task, at least according to the subtitles on the screen. The masks are so huge I can't even see their hair. As for the Chippendales, Jaymes says in a muffled voice, "I don't know how many dudes have had their mouth on this thing before me." In an interview, he elaborates, "I think I must have made out with, like, 947 Indonesian people today alone, just by putting that thing in my mouth. You're just tasting Indonesia. I'm tasting years of culture, right there, in my mouth." I hope he doesn't mean throat culture. They're guided through a turn and bow as well. Trey & Lexi also seem to manage, although she's got her hands full just keeping her mask in place. Jaymes yammers at James to take in the experience. "We're in Indonesia! We got a lion head on!" Or, more accurately, "We in Innonesha! We gah lion heh ah!"

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Amazing Race




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