Amazing Race

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Arhats Are Off

Brent and Caite have a bus map, and she's the one who figures out which bus they have to take to the Longhua Temple, and gets them on it. If they were to win this leg, and I'm not saying they will, right here is when it happens. "Obviously I know how to read maps, because I'm pretty damn good at figuring out where we are and where were going," she says while riding the bus. "In China. So people, you can go screw yourselves." It takes me a minute to remember what she's talking about, because I never actually saw her whole verbal meltdown that she's so famous for. But it was about maps, as I understand, and I guess now that she's successfully used one, that redeems the way she totally augured in when someone had the temerity asked her to talk coherently about them. Now let's all go screw ourselves. She won Miss Congeniality, right?

Jet and Cord are asking their cabbie whether they can get to the Longhua Temple by boat or train or what, and he gives them walking directions to the Metro station, which is a kilometer away. At least in theory.

Dan and Jordan are on the Park Bridge where the Cowboys were earlier, and they ask an aging gentleman who's stretching his legs to ask whether they're on the Garden Bridge. It gets a little comical, with them and him repeating the word "Bridge?" to each other. He asks to see their clue, which he reads aloud well enough: "'Make your way to the Garden Bridge.' Where the Garden Bridge?" Ha! Awesome. Realizing this is another dead end, Jordan reclaims their clue and they get back on their non-way. In an interview, Jordan talks about the difficulty of the language barrier, and Dan interviews that he hates China and will never come back. I'm sure China is heartbroken.

They're still nowhere when a clock appears on the screen reading. "Time since pit start: 2:02:10, " counting the seconds off 24-style. As much as I hate the non-phrase "pit start," that's kind of funny. Jordan floats an insane idea: Go back to get Michael and Louie. As Jordan explains in an interview, one of their strategies is to never be alone and in last place, and Dan adds that the Detectives will face a Speed Bump that may allow the brothers to ditch them further along in the leg. This is so crazy it just might work.

Louie and Michael are leaving the Pit Stop at 11:00, which is a major lag. Michael interviews about how he tells his kids never to quit anything, and Louie hopes his older children will see, "The harder you work, the more you can achieve." As an example, here are Dan and Jordan, running up to them to try to catch them because all their hard work has gotten them bupkes. "Don't tell me we caught up to the boys," Michael says. Okay, I won't try to convince you that five seconds after leaving the Pit Stop, you "caught up" to another team that left more than two hours ago. Michael and Louie are so happy to have "caught up" to someone that Michael leads them up to a high vantage point on the bridge so he can use his binoculars, like the Garden Bridge is going to be something you can recognize by sight even though nobody knows what it is. He interviews about his detecting skills and his great eyes, peering around the city while Louie confidently says they're in the right area. That alone is good enough reason to get into a cab and tell the driver to pick a direction at random and go.

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Amazing Race

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