Amazing Race

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Arhats Are Off

Brent keeps bitching at Caite to come with him so he can pee. "I can't concentrate. I'm being no help right now. We're wasting our time!" Jet and Cord give a little interview where they come off sympathetic to his plight. "I thought he was going to go in the room," Cord says, which is TV-friendly if not particularly colorful, and they cackle over Caite's meanness. Brent continues to plead his case, saying his hands are shaking. Although he refrains from claiming that his teeth are floating, his socks are squishy, the whites of his eyes have gone yellow, and he keeps involuntarily visualizing the bursting of that dam in Superman. "We'd be right back here and we can do this." Yes, but if you have to go that bad, it's going to take a while. He's probably at the point where one's bladder gets so full it almost has to be emptied in sections, like a folded-over wineskin (which I've read happens to some people, particularly those who buy a tankard of Cherry Coke to carry into a movie that they won't get up from until the end). Caite finally allows herself to be dragged out, complaining the whole way. "Just shut up," he says. Jet and Cord are left alone in there, and Jet soon finds a chop with a pig and the letters "BRENT" on it. He puts it back where he found it and says, "He's going to have to find that one on his own." I'm glad to see him not tucking it in his pocket or hiding it some other way; although the resulting penalty probably wouldn't change the outcome, he'd lose a lot of people's respect for such a move. Or worse, he might not.

Brent finds a bathroom, and Caite is still unsympathetic even in the post-leg interview. "I had to pee since, like 8:30 this morning," she points out, which would be six minutes before they started the leg. Are you telling me that Shanghai built a half-billion dollar museum the size of fifteen football fields without a single ladies' room in it? Brent says this was a high-water mark in his life, if you know what I mean.

While counting, Dan interviews that we was all about taking his time and doing it right, and he comes up with 523. He interviews that every team needs a closer to get to he final three. "On this team, I'm the closer." Jordan looks like he wishes Dan would close his mouth. Off to the motorcycles. "I took the sidecar and Jordan rode bitch!" Dan tools. Of course their mom is going to kick both their asses. Jordan says it was weird, with the goggles, "and I was holding on to this Chinese man who was driving...I liked that part, all right, fine." Wow, a seldom-seen sign that Jordan's anything but a Ken doll.

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Amazing Race

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