Amazing Race
They Probably Should Have Some Counseling

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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The Best Pest Is A Budapest

2:56 AM. Spazpants. Jonathan is already wearing his Intense Face of Facial Intensity as they look at the clue and Victoria gets out the money. In an interview, Victoria says that she doesn't like anyone yelling at her like Jonathan did in the last leg. On the other hand, she says, "That's just Jon." That should totally be the name of his new reality show, which would end with the great episode where he goes to jail and nobody comes to visit him and he spends Thanksgiving staring dejectedly at a plate full of institutional pressed turkey parts and wondering why no one comes to visit him. Oh, and drooling all over his gums because someone has knocked out all his teeth. I would totally watch that show.

3:11 AM. Hayden and Aaron. "Come on, baby," she nags as they leave. I wouldn't mind her pushy quality, I don't think, if she had any others. Indeed, Aaron interviews that he has to be patient in order to make up for the fact that Hayden is "psycho." Which is pretty much the best compliment you can receive, after "intoxicating." They look for a cab as she chastises him for "acting like it's not a big deal" that they can't get a cab. Like I said, it's not that anything about her is particularly unlikable; I just can't find anything about her that's likable. She's not scoring a huge negative number, she's just lopsided. (Ew, not like that.) She and Aaron find a cab.

Meanwhile, the Nuance cab gets them to the clue box at Checkpoint Charlie, and they pull the clue. As the very jittery camera footage helps explain, the next clue sends the teams to Olympic Stadium, where the 1936 Olympics were held. There, they'll have to find a signup board by the entrance, quite near, apparently, the giant red letters reading "CHAMPIONS," which was erected in honor of the fact that being in the Olympics really, really makes people want to learn English.

3:12 AM. Kris and Jon. Kris interviews that they've been dating long distance for some time, and she's been "happily surprised" at how alike they have turned out to be on the race. We watch as they take out a map and, it would appear, take off walking for the clue box. No taxi for them. They're definitely getting my vote for the Team That Burns The Smallest Amount of Fossil Fuels.

3:13 AM. Gus and Hera. Gus says that they're feeling fairly good about being in fifth place, and they think that "rushing for rushing's sake never seems to do much." I agree with him, and I think that's what's gone wrong with the season thus far, pretty much. It's become more and more true that being in a hurry, most of the time, is kind of unnecessary, which interferes a little bit with the "amazing" and "race" aspects of the show. Leaving only "the," and that's a little too abstract for even Phil to elucidate. Hera explains that they, too, are walking and not cabbing to Checkpoint Charlie, which is only about two kilometers away. And as they walk, Gus tells her that the checkpoint was "used by most of the spies." Sadly, the only thing I can think of when I hear about World War II spies is Melanie Griffith in that horrible movie where she's the espionage specialist and secretary. That movie was so bad that every time I think about it, it's like inside my head, a good movie is crying.

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Amazing Race

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