Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Have You Herd?

Matt is also finishing up, and he interviews that he has friends with chickens. "I've herded some animals in my time," he says modestly. Okay, well, I'm not from Montana, so I haven't, but I'd like to see him help chaperone a Montessori school field trip some time. One four-year-old in unfamiliar surroundings = 50 ducks, at least. Matt gets his ducks in the pen, and they're off in second place. Meanwhile, Ericka's almost done. She's got more than half the ducks in the pen, but when she runs off to retrieve the others, she unwisely leaves the gate open, and the rest escape. "Er! Shut the gate!" Brian screams, but not only are the ducks in the pen all "fuck this noise," one of the other ones is already fleeing back across the bridge, and her time is up. Maybe Brian should have done this challenge.

The last two teams are finally here, and Zev and Tiffany are taking it. Tiffany says she had ducks growing up and hoped to use her experience to make up some time. Way to play the hand she's been dealt. Flight Time and Keri are finishing up at roughly the same time, leaving in third and fourth place respectively, with a lot of screaming from Lance. Canaan is shouting instructions to Mika, who just seems to be wandering aimlessly around the field at this point. So Canaan abandons his strategy of shouting and tries something new; he screams at her instead. Zev interviews that when they arrived he saw everyone freaking out, and thought, "You don't need to do that, just relax." And indeed, Zev calmly gets his ducks moving. "It turns out he's the Duck Whisperer," Justin interviews. "I mean, who knew?" "I didn't know," Zev deadpans. He impresses Meghan and Cheyne as well. Meghan begins her second try, and seems to be doing better this time, probably from watching Zev. Jessica is also improving, even though Garrett is annoyed that she's ignoring his advice. "Hopefully it works for her," he says in an "it's her funeral" kind of tone. I'm starting to suspect think that it's not just "female drama" and "fiery Colombian sides" that Garrett can't deal with as much as people in general. Ericka is also beginning her second go-round. Canaan and Mika are both exceedingly frustrated, to the point where when her whistle goes off, he says, "God, I wanna rip her head off right now." Not very Christian of him. When she gets back to the waiting area, he yells at her that they might get eliminated and she's like, "I KNOW!" Oh, just have sex already.

Sam and Dan run through the streets of the village, and Sam interviews that they're both kind of trying to be the boss. That would explain all the loud arguing they do looking for the Pit Stop, even when they find someone who gives them directions. Pinky and the Brain are having better luck, and Gary even has time to congratulate Matt, "You're a duck herdin' fool." Big Easy is trying to hurry his partner into a run, unconcerned that he might be a little winded from the running he already did herding the ducks. "Suck it up, Flight! Come on!" All three teams wander around chaotically, and then two of them spot each other, and the other spots the flag, and then when we see Phil with an older male greeter on the deck of the boat, it's Gary and Matt who reach the mat first. Phil tells them they're team number one, and they hug and scream and jump up and down. All they win is kayaks, though, which is a total rip-off. But at least, as Gary says, they're closer now than they've been in years. Maybe they could get even closer and give away one of the kayaks.

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Amazing Race




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