Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A- | 490 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
I'll stop the world and melt down with you

The String Bass Of Inept Intrigue thumps along as FloZach and Asshat meet up while searching. "I'm glad there's more idiots in the world," Ian says. Zach chuckles. Zach voices over that Ian's pretense to idiocy is part of a strategy, and Flo agrees, but she's not above being annoyed by it anyway. "Ian gets me, like, riled up," she says, "and makes me want to beat his sorry behind." As if anyone on the race at this point has a sorrier behind than Flo. In fact, I would say that for Ian's behind, the presence of Flo's behind pretty much means never having to say you're sorry. FloZach and Asshat tromp through the Imperial Palace grounds, feeding off each other's unhappiness. Ian finds the box first, and yells for Teri. "Shut up," Flo mutters without a hint of irony. "He needs to shut his mouth." They follow Ian's voice to the clue, so both teams basically review it at the same time. Both leave, and Asshat runs by a strolling FloZach. "I don't know why you guys persist in running. There's no point," Flo bitches. "I hope you get real tired out." "Already tired out!" Ian calls back to her. "Good," she spits. "Can't be any more tired than we are now, Flo!" Teri adds. And that exchange, right there, is representative of why, even though I didn't like them, a win by Teri and Ian would have been a lot more satisfying to me than a win by Flo and Zach. Flo is so anti-racing at this point that she's...she's an actual affront to racing. Bleh.

All the teams are in taxis. "I feel upbeat. You feel good?" Gerard asks. Kenny agrees that he does, but adds, "It's so hard to enjoy when you're running around like nuts looking for these clues, sweating your ass off..." He looks down at himself. "Not that that's a bad thing," he says. Ian, meanwhile, says that FloZach is right behind him and Teri, and he thinks that the cab drivers are communicating about where they're supposed to go, even though Ian asked his driver not to. Ian calls this behavior by his cab driver an "act of God." Yeah, I'm not sure that interpretation would hold up if your insurance company tried it. In the FloZach cab, Zach reiterates that all they're trying to do at this point is finish the leg without being too far behind, because Flo is pretty much used up.

The Bald Snark finds the route marker, and asks their cabbie to wait for them while they read it. It's this week's Detour. A Detour, you may recall, is a choice between two tasks, and this week, the choices are Basket Boats or Basket Bikes. As Phil explains it, the Detour requires the teams to either transport themselves on a bike loaded down with baskets or transport themselves in a pair of little one-person boats. Ken and Gerard take off in the direction of the bikes. When they get there, they realize that the bikes are not exactly what they were expecting. If you didn't see it, it's hard to even explain what went on here, but basically the bikes look like giant peacocks, because they have dozens of baskets stuck to and up from the back. The baskets make the bike about twice as tall as it would otherwise be, and they extend substantially out to both sides. In other words, there is a tremendous amount of weight that's been attached to these bikes, so they're mightily unwieldy. The boys put helmets on, and they're off. Well, I should say that Ken is off. As Gerard explains in an interview, Kenny is actually able to ride the thing, but Gerard keeps tipping over. He actually manages to break one of the pedals on his bike one of the many times he wipes out. God, where would the world be without the inherent comedy of people falling down?

Amazing Race

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP