Drunken cameramen swoop into and out of assorted Vietnamese tableaus. Phil explains that we are on a layover in Ho Chi Minh City, which he calls a "thriving economic center." As has frequently been the case this season, Phil's shirt looks like he picked it up off the floor of his closet after a three-day bender. I think whoever is responsible for dressing Phil needs to rediscover the landmark invention that is the travel iron. At any rate, you will be shocked to learn, after thirty-seven race legs have been run, that the teams will have to figure out where to go for themselves. But they're getting clues and sealed envelopes, so it shouldn't be that difficult. Eat/rest/mingle looks pretty tense this week, as the last three teams try to act like they're not plotting each other's destruction. Kenny is totally plotting, though. You can tell just by watching him eat. As drums pound mercilessly in the background, Phil wonders aloud whether Teri and Ian's age will slow them down. Surprisingly, he's not even curious about whether stopping in the middle of the leg to yell "Did not!" and "Did too!" at each other might slow them down. Drums: [BOOM-ba-ba-BOOM BOOM!] He wonders whether Flo's periodic descents into madness (which he charitably calls her "emotional highs and lows") will take a toll on Zach. Wow, they even accompany this with a shot of Flo wearing a blank expression and twisting her hair, just like a real crazy lady. Drums: [BOOM-ba-ba-BOOM BOOM!] He wonders whether the Bald Snark can rub their own heads and build up so much luck that they can rocket to the front of the pack and run away with the whole thing after the clue-hunting fiasco of last week. Presumably, all the rubbing will at least build up so much static electricity that they can use it to launder their dirty clothes. Drums: [BOOM-ba-ba-BOOM BOOM!]
5:19 AM. Asshat. They open the clue, which tells them to take a train to Hue and find the Imperial Palace. Phil explains that this will require a four-hundred-mile train trip into central Vietnam. When they get to Hue, they will find the palace, which used to house Vietnam's royal family, and they'll look for the clue box somewhere on what Phil Philiciously calls "the sprawling grounds." Teri mentions that they've been given $162 for the leg. Apparently, the amount of money available for this leg of the race was determined by seeing how much loose change was rattling around in the bottom of the camera guys' backpacks. They leave. We next see them strolling along in the dark, and he asks her again where they're going. "To Hue," she says, pronouncing it to rhyme with "cue." He corrects her pronunciation, pointing out that it's more like "hway." She thinks about arguing the point, but is forced to implicitly acknowledge that this is a situation in which he just may know more than she does. In an interview, Teri says that being in first place is the best. Much better than being in last place. Boy, they are scraping the sides of the bowl with this tautological interview footage. In a minute or two, this is going to be an episode of The Bachelor, and every time anyone gets a taxi, they'll play a voiceover of the person saying, "Then we got a taxi." Asshat boards a ferry for the other side of the Saigon River as Teri voices over that they're just taking the race one step at a time and one clue at a time. On the ferry, Ian gives the obligatory shout of "Good morning, Vietnam!" Their ferry lands, and they disembark. "You've gotta walk fast now," he commands, pointing to the ground as if she's a cat and he's pointing a flashlight beam for her to chase. They grab a cab. He voices over that this is his first time back to Vietnam since the war, and that Hue isn't far from what was once the border between the northern and southern parts of Vietnam. There's no time for reminiscing, though, because it's time to harangue the members of the service industry once again. "Big hurry," he says to the cabbie.













Comments