Amazing Race
They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us, Part I

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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I'll stop the world and melt down with you

Ken and Gerard, on their bikes, reach the beginning of the course. They grab a cab. The driver seems to know where they need to go, so they put their faith in him and take off. From the taxi, they see FloZach walking up from the boats. "They must be there and back already," Gerard says. Meanwhile, Zach is assuring Flo that no one else had an easy time with the Detour either.

Speaking of which, here's Teri, walking the bike along the course. In fact, by the time she reaches the later part, she's not even touching the bike -- she's got kids pushing it for her. Oh, come on, now. I realize that Ian and Gerard did one thing by having people keep them from tipping over while they pedaled or scooted the bike, but Teri cannot possibly have believed that it was within the rules of the Detour to have the locals push the bike for her while she walked along. At the end of the course, her helpers mob Ian, wanting money, which he hands out. They pull the clue and head back on the regular bikes.

Zach and Flo assess the basket bikes. "What am I supposed to do?" she asks incredulously. "Hop on a bike, and let's roll," he says. "I'm not driving this!" she whines. "I'm not driving it, I'll just push it." She quickly discerns that she can't even push it, because it's too heavy. He encourages her to at least try, and to start by putting on the helmet. I suppose that's a good thing, because comedy is always enhanced by the presence of a helmet, and this whole thing is quickly degenerating into something quite grimly entertaining. She pushes it a few feet with Zach holding it for her, but as soon as he lets go, it tips over again. "There's not a chance in hell I can push this!" she yells. "Zach, I can't push it!"

This was the part where I wanted him to yell at her. It's funny, because I've pretty much agreed with his strategy up to this point, which was to coddle her and reassure her and not really tell her how awful she was being. Right here, though, I have to say it might have been wise to just tell her to shut the hell up, because she was going to do one or the other of the options, so she could choose between the bikes and the boats, and he didn't want to hear any more whining. Well, at least it would have been interesting.

Ian and Teri now pass FloZach coming the other way, and Ian gives a cheerful "Beep-beep!" on the way by. "Fuck you, Ian," Flo mutters. She pushes the bike for a little bit, while Zach boards his and tries to pedal, but she immediately steers hers into the wall. She screams for a bit. "This is an impossibility," she says.

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Amazing Race

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