Amazing Race
They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us, Part I

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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I'll stop the world and melt down with you

FloZach are paddled to the beach where the clue is, and Zach hops out and fetches it. Once he has it, Flo tells her guy that he can start paddling her back now. She lies down in the bottom of the boat. "I feel like a dead rat," she mutters. You know, sometimes, the jokes just write themselves.

Asshat and the Bald Snark are both approaching the destination in Hoi An. Asshat is ahead, and is first to get into a sampan and head for the flag in the middle of the river. There's a great moment where the change in the music is perfectly aligned with a great shot of a guy throwing a big net out into the river. Very nice. Other shots of folks fishing in the river accompany Asshat out on their boat. They find the flag on a sort of a buoy in the river, and they grab the clue out of the box. It's a Roadblock. In this Roadblock, the person who takes it has to climb onto a "fishing platform" (you can think of it as looking like a lifeguard stand and you'll be about right) and use a manual winch to haul a fishing net up and out of the water. When the net comes up out of the water, they grab the clue that's hanging down underneath it. Ian takes the Roadblock for Asshat. He sits up on the platform and yanks the winch until the net emerges from the water. "Come on, get the clue!" he yells. "I'm doing it," Teri snaps back. There's a joke here somewhere about winches and wenches, but it's just a little too easy. Teri pulls the clue, and she and her boat guy go back to pick up Ian. The clue tells them to take their sampan back to the shore and then head for the pit stop at China Beach. Phil explains that China Beach was a recreational spot for American soldiers during the war, but doesn't even mention that it was also a really good TV show where Marg Helgenberger was a heroin addict long before C.S.I. There is a dramatic shot of the pit stop mat, but of course no statement about anyone being eliminated, because they won't be.

Ken and Gerard, fresh from their latest tire-changing fiasco, reach the Roadblock clue. They head out on their boat. When they pass Teri and Ian coming in, Gerard asks Asshat if they know what happened to Flo and Zach. Ian tells Gerard that FloZach was just getting on the bikes when Asshat was leaving.

Speaking of the FloZach cab, Flo is looking seriously rough. Puffy, red-faced...if you give me the flu for about three weeks, that's about how I'd look. Zach tells her to relax, and they'll just get there when they get there. She continues to stare miserably ahead. It makes me think of that guy in The Karate Kid, going, "Get [her] a body bag! YEEAAHHH!"

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Amazing Race

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