Amazing Race
They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us, Part II

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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It's the end of the world as we know it

Teri and Ian get their cab, followed by Ken and Gerard. But misery has set in across the land.

Flo continues ragging on Zach, more than obviously working on setting up what will be her later argument that, if they lose, it is -- get this -- all his fault. And that's the part that's hardest to forgive. With all the whining, and all the complaining, and all the threatening to quit, this is the rottenest thing she did. After everything she has put him through for the last several legs, she is right now setting up the argument that it was all his fault. It's exactly, precisely what she did with the unzipping of the pants in Switzerland. When she thinks something might go bad, she sits there and berates him until she has made it clear that if it goes wrong, it's his fault. It was a crummy thing to do then, but looking at it now, considering how useless (I'm sorry, but it's true) she's been for about four legs in a row, it's just appalling. There is no other word. It's appalling. What's more, she's grotesquely patronizing and snotty in the way she talks to him. It's just...oh, it's a nightmare, how this ended.

Teri and Ian talk about the fact that for the designated old folks, they're not doing too badly. I agree.

Gerard speculates that he and Ken are in first or second place, probably because they have no idea that other teams asked and were able to grab cabs on the street without calling and waiting.

Cabs zoom. Unsurprisingly, the first team to arrive at the red and yellow flag in Lincoln Park is FloZach. They de-cab and run through the park, following the little arrows. When they get to the clue box, it's a Roadblock, closer to the end than we've ever seen one. This one requires one team member to arrange the animal heads on a totem pole so that they're in order of the way the animals appeared in the race. There's a donkey, a dolphin, a horse, a goat, and a manatee. (Oh, the donkey. Good times.) When they get the heads in the right order, the mouth at the bottom of the totem pole will open, and they'll be able to get the next clue. It's nice to have a mental game along the way, but this challenge feels a little bit too Survivor to me. Or even worse, Big Brother. [Shudder.]

"The person should have a good memory," Zach reads. "You want it?" "No," Flo snots, using the opportunity to continue communicating how angry she is. "I'll take it," he says good-naturedly, aware that he's almost done being near her. He runs to the totem poles. "You're the best, I love you!" she yells as he does the task. Man, I hated her at this moment. More than I've ever hated any racer, ever. I realize it's not a complete picture of a person, but...oh, vile behavior. So very, very vile. She says she loves him, but she's all set to blame him if they lose. Yuck.

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Amazing Race

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