Amazing Race
They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us, Part II

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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It's the end of the world as we know it

At the Buddha, Ken and Gerard read the clue as well, and it brings a smile to their faces. I suspect that flying to Hawaii sounds pretty good at this point.

Teri and Ian arrive at a travel agency. They both go in and stand at the counter, and they start talking to the travel agent. After a little back-and-forth, Ian finally turns to Teri in that calmly snotty way he has, and he says, "One of us talks. Either you or me." What he doesn't add, but what is always implicit, is the part about "P.S.: It's not going to be you." After all, if it was okay for her to talk, and he really just didn't want them to talk at the same time, he could always just, you know, stop talking. Anyway, as she generally does, Teri stops and lets him talk. As Ken and Gerard approach outside, Ian says to Teri, "Do not tell them what we're doing." Because Teri, apparently, would give away the store if he didn't remind her that she shouldn't. I don't think so.

As Ken and Gerard come in, Ian says, "Have a seat. Wait your turn." Gee, thanks, Dad. Ken and Gerard and Ian chat a little bit about the effort the travel agent has been making to find tickets on the computer, and Ian gets so antsy about her progress that he actually goes behind the counter -- zoiks! Bad customer alert! -- saying, "Let me just come around...may I? May I?" The poor lady acquiesces, because honestly, what's she going to do? Call the police? Scream for help? Ken and Gerard voice over that the travel agency experience was very unpleasant, partly because Ian was behind the counter being all Mr. Spacely with the staff. Teri, reflecting on his repeated forays into this kind of thing, voices over that she doesn't think he even realizes when he's "speaking harshly" to people. As Ian gets louder and pushier with the travel agent, Ken leans over and encourages him to come back over to the customer side of the counter so that the two teams can "have a powwow." Teri nods emphatically. Ian says he's going to ask two more questions first, and then they can talk. Ken looks disgusted, because Ian has unfortunately missed the entire point of what he was trying to say, which was, not to put too fine a point on it, "Oh, please shut up and stop bothering the nice lady."

8:02 AM. FloZach. Flo, in her interview from this last pit stop, says that she already feels better just knowing this is the last leg, and now she can "go back to functioning at a hundred percent." Yeah, I think she's just fine now, don't you? I mean, what could go wrong? Zach, meanwhile, interviews that they are not quitting, dammit, all appearances to the contrary. "We didn't come all the way around the damn world to quit." And besides, although he doesn't bring this part up, Flo said at the end of the last leg that she would never threaten to quit again. She pretty much promised. And as a matter of fact, when they were on the boat on Lake Geneva after they finished last in the non-elimination leg, she went on and on about how wrong it was of her to give up then, so she's actually promised this twice now. I'm sure she would never threaten to quit again. Never! "I don't think she's going to break down again," Zach says. Foreshadowing squawks menacingly in the background and sharpens its big pointy teeth on a rock. "Hiss! Hiss!" says Foreshadowing.

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Amazing Race

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