Amazing Race
They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us, Part II

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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It's the end of the world as we know it

Back at the airport, the luck of the evil has returned to Teri and Ian's side, and weather is now conspiring to make up for the one-and-one-quarter-hour difference between the time when the FloZach/Bald Snark flight is scheduled to leave and the time when Asshat's flight is scheduled to leave. The delay seems to be due to pouring rain. Do they delay flights on account of rain? Sheesh, up here in the frozen tundra, they barely delay flights when the snow is up to the wings. Rain delays? Wimps. Ken and Gerard run into Flo and Zach on the way to the gate, and Flo breaks the news that their nice early flight is delayed. She also points out that Teri and Ian are "psyched," as they logically would be.

Sidebar: When I went to New York with KTyger and Dallas to go to TARcon, KT got...er, delayed at the airport by the unfortunate misplacement of her wallet between getting out of the car and checking in for the flight. There is a good chance that she would have fallen behind me and Dallas and had to take a later flight, except that our flight out of the Twin Cities was delayed due to weather, which allowed her to locate her wallet, get her bag on the plane, and walk down the aisle to our row just when Dallas and I were giving up on her. So as you can see, I am taking this entire segment of the show as a shout-out. Shut up.

Anyway, Ian talks about how it "felt great" to get bunched up with everyone again. Sigh. I'm sure it did, Captain Eeeevil!

The first plane finally prepares to take off. Ken points out that it was pretty sad to blow their big lead on Asshat, because by the time the weather cleared, the flights left at practically the same time for Honolulu. In the end, only fifteen minutes separates the departure times of the two planes. The Amazing Yellow Line graphically demonstrates these two flights streaking from Tokyo to Honolulu within spitting distance of each other.

Gorgeous and thoroughly stereotypical shots of swimsuits and surfboards and waves bring us to Hawaii, where the Bald Snark and FloZach are landing at 7:55 AM. "Back in America," Gerard says happily as they get off the plane. Well, I don't know about "happily," but at least "not unhappily." Both teams find their way to surprisingly small marked cars that are apparently the spoon-fed transportation for this leg, and Ken and Gerard are first out of the parking lot, yelling, "Good luck, guys!" as they go. I would point out that Flo, who found the notion of Zach taking a moment to unzip his pants to be a federal crime worthy of death by firing squad, doesn't seem to mind taking the time to put the top down on the car. I mean, that's what I would do too, but then, I wouldn't have implied that Zach had cost me a million bucks because he pulled a couple of zippers, either. It's like The Professor always says -- you can have anything you want, but that doesn't mean you can have everything you want.

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Amazing Race

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