In the Gaghan car on the way to Louisiana, Bill starts wondering where he put his pen. Carissa, because she has improvisation in her soul, decides that this is the perfect time for spontaneous songwriting. The song goes like this: "Where's your lucky pen? Where's your lucky pen? Where's my lucky pen? Luckyyyyyy pen." This last line, incidentally, is delivered while dramatically looking out the window as if lost in thought in a 1940s musical. If you've ever seen Meet Me In St. Louis, this is her "How can I ignore the boy next door?" look. Adorable. Char, meanwhile, is distressed by the clue. "Never heard of Fairview, Louisiana," she says, "and we live there." Of course, I'm not sure why they assume Fairview Riverside State Park would be located in someplace called Fairview, Louisiana, but...me not understanding Char is not exactly big news. The Weavers pull out of the gas station while the Schroeders are filling up, giving Stassi another opportunity to bitch about being behind "Florida." Finally, her father has had enough. "Stassi, you're being nasty, and it's ugly." And he's right, of course, but coming from him? Please. This is basically what Stassi herself says, although the snotty way she says it -- "You're looking ugly too right now" -- is enough to kind of still make me wish he had grounded her for three weeks starting the minute they got home.

The non-Amazing Yellow Rand-McNally Highway Squiggle shows us that the teams are driving from Richland, Mississippi to Madisonville, Louisiana. The anticipation, it is breathless.

In the Gadzookski car, Michelle is saying -- literally through clenched teeth -- that Christine is being too slow in giving directions off the map. After getting Sharon pointed in the right direction, Christine wants to high-five everyone, which...they're not exactly in the mood for, and then she cheerily says she wants some "validation." Asking for validation, of course, is always cuter when you're not actually seeking validation, which she is. Her sisters validate her grudgingly, and grudging validation you have to beg for is, of course, the most gratifying validation of all.

For some reason, Papa Schroeder tells Char not to get on I-55 South, saying, "We don't want to go that low." Which they do. Not at all clear to me what the story is there.

Up ahead with the Bransen/Linz group, both teams find the next clue box at the state park, and it's a Detour. The choices are Work, in which you use two-person saws to cut four slices off a log that's 12 inches across, or Play, in which you have to win three hands of blackjack out on a riverboat. Now, the complications are: (1) Either way, you have to wear stupid "period" clothing. (2) For the riverboat, you have to row yourself out there and row yourself back. (3) To win a hand of blackjack, all four of your team members have to beat the dealer without any of your team members busting, or the dealer has to bust. Both the Linzes and the Bransens decide to do the Play option, so they put on silly-looking riverboat costumes. It appears that the producers' version of "period costumes" for riverboat gambling has a lot to do with feathers.