The Schroeders get their dealer to bust for the third time, so now they can go. I'm not at all convinced that that was faster for them, so I'm not sure that's not about the third time in this episode that Mark has hosed the rest of them, but...there you go. As they run off the boat, of course, they're all excited, because they know right where they're going in New Orleans.
Weaver car. "What is it?" one of the girls asks as they drive across the bridge. "Lake Pontchartrain," says Mama Weaver. "It's one of the five Great Lakes." Now, I'll tell you. It says in the TWoP employee handbook that you will learn in time which groups of people it is not worth it to make fun of, because your inbox will be full for the next month and a half. In my experience, this list includes, but is not limited to, people who favor alternative medicine, James Dobson followers, polyamorists, and home-schoolers. Nevertheless? Come on, lady. The Great Lakes? Are in Louisiana? What state is Washington, D.C. in? Is Pennsylvania a state? I certainly hope someone else within the "home" is in charge of geography.
BUH. Anyway, we cut directly from Mama Weaver's claim that Lake Pontchartrain is one of the Great Lakes to Billy Gaghan asking, "Is this bigger than the Great Lakes?" Sure, but will he learn abstinence-only? (Just kidding! Don't email me! Seriously! Please! I'm only kidding! Have I mentioned I also don't like Focus On The Family or swinging chiropractors? Watch me disappear in this cloud of misdirection!)
Now, we are in New Orleans. The Paolos are driving around looking for the corner of Bourbon and St. Peter, where Preservation Hall is. They park and start walking, as do the Bransens.
In the Schroeder car, Stassi is prissing about how it "kind of isn't fair," how they know their way all around New Orleans. Not fair, indeed.
The Linzes park and start running.
Paolos. Bransens. Duking it out for first place. And there's the Preservation Hall Jazz Band, easily fifty times cooler than anything else in the episode. And running to the mat, it's...the Bransens. Dude, Wally and the Tonyas are kind of on a roll. For their trouble, they win a trip to Orlando. Mmm, touristy!
The Paolos come in right behind them, and I'm kind of squicked out about Papa Tony's big hug with poor Wally. The Paolos land in second place, and Phil congratulates them on being in last place for a good bit of the leg, but pulling it out in the end and coming in second. Tony needs to quit hugging Phil.