Amazing Race
Think Like An Office Chair

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Sawing logs, indeed

Paolos. They pull up and start looking. When the Schroeders see that the Paolos are there and that the Gaghans are still around (I think they don't realize Bill and Tammy pulled a time already), Mark declares that they have to take whatever the next one they see turns out to be. I'm not even sure all these teams even understood that everybody was going to get a time, you know? It wasn't like if you didn't grab one, you'd be left behind. Outside, after the Schroeders pull an 8:00 time, Stassi wails, "We're with the Florida team now!" She is way too fixated on that one team, I will tell you that right now. The pinks try to calm Stassi down, telling her that the 20 minutes at the beginning of the day isn't all that likely to matter that much. "One minute makes the biggest difference, though," she sobs and wails. Eh. It's already done, so calming herself and getting some sleep at this point would be a lot more productive than pulling this routine.

Commercials. You know, guys, you lose me right around "bulk pickles."

Back at the mobile homes, Stassi is complaining that "no one listens" to her, by which she means that her father doesn't listen to her. Of course, he doesn't listen to anyone, including his wife and members of law enforcement, so Stassi probably doesn't need to take it personally. There are more efforts to console her, and then Mark takes the family off to eat and rest.

The Paolos, of course, find the remaining 7:40 departure time, which would logically be the only one left, and which also supports my hypothesis that the universe is very, very hostile to my interests when it comes to the narrow area of reality television. Mama comments that their departure time is in "less than five hours," so you can start to understand, maybe, why Stassi is having a freak-out. We're beginning to throw off the sleep schedules, so that's going to affect behavior, pretty clearly.

In the morning, the Linzes and Bransens, holding the two 7:20 AM departures, leave first. They rip a clue directing them 84 miles to Richland, Mississippi. And what do they have to find there? A BP station. I am not kidding. It is an entire clue, and it is leading them to a sponsor's gas station. Inside the gas station, they'll "search" (!) for Les, the man with their clue. Where will he be? Among the two-liter bottles of Diet Coke? Will they have to wander as far as the Doritos? What if he's hiding over by the milk cooler? When you think about the fact that this is this season's version of finding a guy named Pablo in Mexico City without any indication of who he is or where he is other than a picture of a building, you will weep openly. Because now Mexico City is Richfield, Mississippi, and Zocalo Square is a BP station, and locals are Slim Jims, and Pablo is Les, and the picture is an address, a named location, and a mallet to hit yourself with in case you need additional help. As the lead teams take off, Wally contemplates mooning the Linzes again, but thankfully, he refrains. In the Linz car, the boys talk about how cute the bodies on the Tonyas are.

At 7:40 AM, off go the Paolos and Gadzookskis. And then, finally, at 8:00, the Weavers, Gaghans, and Schroeders take off. To the gas station!

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Amazing Race

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