Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 542 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Sex, booze, and the general dealer

Brown Desert Highway. (Chimes of Desolation: "Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong!") In the Taraweasel SUV, they make it to the dune and spot the flag. The Weasel tears across the sand toward the dune. (Horns of Perseverance: "Blatblatblat blatblatblat blatblatblat BLAT!") The Weasel deems the dune "radical." He wants to run, she wants to walk. He says tomato, she says to-mah-to. They can bicker, they can bicker, they can talk, they can talk, they can bicker, bicker, bicker, they can talk, talk, talk. They have an interminable bit of "banter" on the climb, although it's not good enough to be actual banter. In the tradition of the Cheez in Cheez Whiz and the Froot in Froot Loops, let's just say it's bantyr. He (1) calls her "dude"; (2) calls her "Bony" (not like "you're bony," but like "come here, Bony"); (3) discusses "paying her the big bucks"; and (4) continues to wear a knit hat. While climbing a sand dune. GO AWAY, WIL. He interviews that he wouldn't want anyone else traveling with him, and on behalf of everyone else, let me just say that we feel exactly the same way.

At the flag, Tara says, "Thank you, Jesus," but God knows she isn't serious, so He continues to favor Russell and Cyndi. The clue is this week's Detour -- Slide or Stride. You know, the people who name these detours are like those horrible parents who think twins have to be named Sandy and Andy or Fred and Ned or Timmy and Tommy. In the name of honesty, I want the next Detour to be called "Take A Long, Boring Walk, or Do Something That Will Make You Want To Throw Up." Phil, whose outfit is perfectly color-coordinated with the gorgeous dunes and the blue sky, explains that in this Detour, the teams have to either hike the long way back down the dune, or they have to get on a sandboard and basically sled down the mountain headfirst on their bellies. Tara and the Weasel put their helmets on, and their safety instructor puts Wil on the board. Off he goes, and much to my dismay, he doesn't wipe out and bury himself head-down in the sand. Tara follows. The clue at the bottom tells them to go to the town of Spitzkoppe, which Phil explains is 125 miles away, and find the "General Dealer," which is a store. Get there, ask for the postcard of the day, and you're on your way.

Amazing Race

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