Amazing Race
This Game Is About Minutes

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 3 USERS: A
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Sex, booze, and the general dealer

Gary and Dave pull up to the marketplace just as Taraweasel is leaving. Wil snots, "How did they catch up to us? They were obviously speeding, man." Excuse me, Wil, but they've been on your ass all day, so just relax. Does Wil relax? Oh, no. "Cheaters! Speeders!" he barks at them as he gets into his car and they get out. "We weren't speeding," Gary says exasperatedly. After Wil climbs in and closes the door, Gary yells, "You're going down!" Hee.

Dave takes the Roadblock. As he looks over under the tree, Dave says, "Look at the natives over there!" Gary: "They're called people, they're not 'natives.' It's not 1800." Hee! Seriously. I don't fault Dave too much -- that's the kind of remark I think it's easy to make and then feel very stupid about, but Gary was right on.

Boston, looking for the dune. They're lost. Are they lost enough? I'm not sure. The only thing I'm sure of is that they have the goofiest pronunciation of "route marker" ("rowwwt mah-kah") ever.

Xerox drives off the paved road into the sand, still looking for somebody who knows where the damn dune is. Unfortunately, the SUV doesn't take too kindly to the sand. "We could be in trouble right now," Shola says. "Please don't tell me we're going to stall in the desert," Doyin responds. Um, no. They don't stall. What they do is get buried in the sand up to the middle of the tires, and the more they spin the tires, the deeper they dig. Doyin makes an attempt to push the SUV out, but it doesn't work. "We're stuck, man." Oh, dear.

Commercials. Oh, my God, is that Dawson's Creek's Henry in the new Sandra Bullock movie? In, like, a key role? Let me just get out my Signs of the Apocalypse For Dummies book here, because I think I remember something about this. Furthermore, it looks like he still hasn't washed his hair. Note to the next people who hire this kid: Please pay him in shampoo.

Xerox tries to wave down some help. As they voice over that "people are very friendly," a guy comes over and helps them push the SUV out of the sand, but they're all casting very long shadows right now, so it's obviously getting late. I think they probably spent a lot more time there than you could tell from the way this was cut together. When the SUV is free and clear, the guy even gives them directions to the dune. Thanks, helpful guy! Shola, in an interview, cautions against counting Xerox out too early.

Mary and the Fruit at the Roadblock. The Fruit agrees to do it. "You have to barter," Mary commands, and actually that's not the word she wants, but that's all right. In what winds up being a pretty funny sequence, Mary barks that "everything's negotiable" and that the Fruit should "knock it right in half immediately," while the Fruit gathers her things together and sort of chants to herself, "Yes, Mary...yes, Mary..." I love this team. "Peach, let them go against each other!" Mary loudly suggests as the Fruit walks toward the market. "Okay, Mary, I can do this," Peach calls over her shoulder. Now, in fairness to the Fruit, it's hard to tell exactly what happens here, because there is quite a bit of cutting, but it appears that essentially, she takes the prices exactly as they are rattled off to her. "Sixty? Okay! Forty? Okay!" I find it hard to believe she really did that, given the conversation she just had with Mary, but it looks like she did. She does get all the animals, though, and goes to get the giraffe. "I have to come back here shopping someday," she says.

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Amazing Race

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