Amazing Race
This Game Is About Minutes

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 3 USERS: A
Sex, booze, and the general dealer

9:00 AM. There goes the first charter. Gary says that they were happy to be in the top tier of teams getting out on the first flight. Man, the Weasel still has that hat on. When will the torture end?

Boston and Jeebus arrive at the airport. Paige re-exposits their position in the second bunch. In Paige's interview, you can see that her fleece pullover has the "Team Mycoskie" logo. Team Guido's lawyer begins preparing their complaint for copyright infringement. There's also a little close-up in here of Alex's shoulder. Me: "[Eye roll.] Oh, not."

The first charter lands at the desert airport, with the Weasel griping that he can't imagine what they could possibly be doing here. "It's all sand," he says. Well, yes. Welcome to the desert, nitwit. It's like that. When they get over to the airport, they find the McFlag and grab the clue. It tells them to get to the top of Swakopmund Lighthouse. As Gary and Dave look at their map, it appears that they actually studied it in advance, trying to see where they might need to go. BAH! Did Gary and Dave do research? That's going to interfere with my worldview.

Lots and lots of drunken careening as we are introduced to the town and the lighthouse. Back at the Walvis Bay airport, Oswald and Danny are looking into renting a car, with the rest of ChaTaGaDa looking on anxiously. When the lady behind the counter finds out that they don't have a credit card, though, she tells Oswald he can't rent a car. Taraweasel and Gary and Dave take off in search of taxis, but Oswald perseveres. "What option do I have?" he asks. "Credit card," she says wearily. "No credit card," he says calmly. "How can we go from here to Swakopmund?" "I can give two people a lift," she says -- just like that. Of course, something here is a little cooked, because she has to actually give four people a lift (they have to accommodate their camera guy and their sound guy), but the gist appears to be genuine. Danny asks how much it will be for the ride, and the lady just says to give the driver whatever they think is fair. Oswald kisses her hand as they leave. They put their stuff into a car, and Oswald voices over that once again, they learned the value of being polite and pleasant when you need help. Amen, brother. In their cab, Cha-Cha-Cha discusses the fact that they may or may not remain in first place, even though they're doing well coming out of the airport.

Back at the airport, Gary and Dave saunter up to a little "Gift Shop & Taxi Stand," as The Amazing Little White Letters label it. He asks the lady working there how they'd go about getting a taxi. "I can arrange it," she says. "You can arrange it," Gary repeats, surprised but not overly so. "Oh, how civilized." Honestly, that could be taken as something he perhaps shouldn't have said, but I can overlook it. Then he says, "Let's get it on," and I can't overlook that. You just had to push your luck, didn't you, Gary?

As Gary arranges the taxi, Wil crowds in, and when he realizes that Gary is getting a taxi, he wants one too. He is pushy and rude, of course. Mary and the Fruit arrange a taxi too, for 560 rand. That's a lot of their cash, and they aren't too pleased. (This might have been a really good time for teams to share transportation and save money -- I'm not sure why they didn't, since they're bunched and in the lead anyway.) Wil just assumes that because he yelled that he wants a taxi, one is being called for him, ignoring the part where he has to pay for it first like everyone else did. When the lady finds him outside and explains that he needs to come in and pay her, he grumpily agrees and comes inside to be rung up. Back at her counter, he repeats the price incredulously. Now he goes into Passhole-Aggresshole mode as he forks over the money: "It's okay. You're ripping me off, but it's fine. I gotta get there. Karma comes around, it goes two ways, so I'll do it just because I know that when somebody rips me off, they'll be ripped off in return in another way." Wow. I believe in karma too, Weasel, so just give me a minute to step away from you before you are simultaneously struck by lightning, hit by a train, and pooped on by a pigeon. The taxi lady very patiently says, "Well, it is a long distance." Given that my atlas suggests that this is a distance of somewhere around twenty-five or thirty miles, that they're all traveling individually in big vans, and that 560 rand is right around fifty bucks? My internal budget is not shocked, given what I've paid for airport taxis. In fact, given that they paid thirty-eight dollars (plus tip...or, of course, not) in the first episode of the first season to get from Central Park to JFK, I have no idea what he's bitching about. Chew on your hat all you'd like, Wil, but there's no injustice, and certainly no call to be rude. I sort of wish the taxi lady had told him to go get bent and find another way to get where he's going, but no such luck. Anyway, when Wil is through spreading the international non-love, Mary and the Fruit, Taraweasel, and Gary and Dave pile into cabs.

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Amazing Race




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