Amazing Race
This Is More Important Than Your Pants Falling Down!

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Zach and Jill went up the hill

Previously on Dead Puppets' Society: Every flight out of Morocco was full for the next year and a half, so it was all about standby, begging, and prayer. In Munich, history's creepiest puppet loomed, so it was best to get out of town and catch the Olympic spirit in Innsbruck. In other news, FloZach got hostile about a hostel, and Ken and Gerard retired a tire. Teri gave a hand to Derek and wanted a leg up in return, but he turned his back and went ahead. FloZach got the Fast Forward by just asking for it, and Ian and Teri got treated badly by...well, by just asking for it, actually. The Band of Brothers disbanded, and a navigation face-off gave an uncharacteristically zippy Derek and Drew an unexpected advantage over an uncharacteristically slow-pokey Ken and Gerard. In the end, Firecop folded and was finally Philiminated. Farewell, Firecop.

Now, Phil recaps the teams that remain: FloZach, with their baffling hair and puzzling relationship; Derek and Drew, whose many enemies have thus far been unsuccessful in toppling their toothy grins; Teri and Ian, who manage to combine tireless bickering with otherwise tiresome personalities; Jill and John Vito, who seem committed to the remarkable view that there are ways to communicate other than yelling; and Ken and Gerard, who have a way with both the cutting wit and the folding map. "Who will be eliminated..." Somewhere, a glacier carves out a new ski area. "…next?" "Next"? Well, I suppose it's slightly more subtle than tattooing "Non-Elimination Leg" on phabulous Phil's photogenic phorehead.

Credits. Legend has it that a ghost ship can still be seen at the Rheinfall, carrying the ghost of a man who died after surviving an accidental drop over the falls and then going over again voluntarily. According to the American Chiropractic Association, a child's backpack should weigh no more than ten percent of the child's body weight. St. Peter's Church has Europe's largest clock face, at 8.7 meters in diameter. Grindelwald will host the twenty-eighth international curling championships in January 2003. Visitors are encouraged not to tamper with fences. [BOMP.]

Drunken cameramen try not to get tangled up in their lederhosen as they careen through the Alps. Phil reminds us that Neuschwanstein Castle and the nearby Lowerproductioncostenstein Meadow were the highlights of the most recent pit stop. Phil has temporarily abandoned the drab green button-down in favor of his gray T-shirt. I won't claim it's a great look, but for once he doesn't look like succumbed to the silky siren song of some glitzy catalog and blew his entire salary at The Rugged Executive Boutique. (Motto: "Just Because It's Casual Friday Doesn't Mean You Can't Kick Some Ass.") Phil also doesn't look quite as used-up and gaunt as he has recently. I think someone gave him a massage, a facial, and a really big sandwich. Man, where were these production people during Julie Chen's hour of need? Phil explains to us that as usual, when the contestants got there, they had the opportunity to eat, sleep, and mingle. By way of illustration, we see Ken and Gerard munching on pretzels, Ian snoozing (probably with his Jerk-o-Matic mechanism plugged into a wall socket for recharging), and Drew, Flo, Zach, and Kenny chuckling around the dinner table. Zach is doing his mingling in a yellow rain slicker with the hood up, so apparently, Zach knows what you did last summer. We also see some ale-drinking out in the meadow, the showing of which is contrary to the usual practice of concealing from the audience that the name of this segment should often be "eat, sleep, and booze your pants off." Unfortunately, however, FloZach's mugs seem to be filled with all foam and no ale. Wow, Blunt Metaphor Alert. Woop woop woop! At any rate, sealed envelopes, red-and-yellow flags, "clues," et cetera.

And now, for this week's semi-romantic interlude. Phil mentions that during this particular eat-sleep-mingle, "new bonds begin to form." Rather oddly, this is said over a shot of an unusually unglamorous Drew and Flo, in nearly identical black nerd glasses, taking a bite of food in unison. Not exactly up there with Alex and Tara's grainy back-room "strategizing," with the finger-quoting and the leg-wrapping and the foiling of the gruesome ex-husband. This is more like Love Among The Actuaries. In an interview, Drew acknowledges flirting with Flo. He wonders aloud, however, about what exactly is going on with Flo and Raincoat Man, and conveniently we once again see Zach fully decked out for, I suppose, the coming monsoon. You know, if Zach is trying to keep Flo on the hook, he might start with a wardrobe consult. Just a suggestion.

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Amazing Race

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