Amazing Race
This Is More Important Than Your Pants Falling Down!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Zach and Jill went up the hill

At long last, John Vito manages to knock down the apple. Yay, John Vito! "Good job," Jill says with a warm smile as they leave. Can you imagine how Asshat would be reacting? They would have reduced each other to piles of ash by now.

Now, still climbing the steep sidewalk, we have FloZach, Ken and Gerard, and Ian and Teri, with Teri dragging substantially behind. "Hump, baby, hump!" Ian yells annoyingly. In an interview, Ken and Gerard consider this situation. "What was it he was yelling up the hill?" Gerard asks. "He was supporting her," Kenny says dryly, over footage of Teri struggling up the path. Gerard launches into his growly Ian impression: "'Hump it, Teri, hump it, hump it!'" They laugh. "Like she's a camel," Kenny adds. Hee.

Nerd Lust seems to be back together again, including the packless Flo and the two-pack Zach. They cut across a field, jumping over a fence to do it. Teri tells Ian that she can't get over the fence to cut through the grass. Gerard and Ken seem to be hot on the heels of Nerd Lust as they walk up through the field. "Will you carry me over?" Flo whines as she gets to the fence. Oh, for God's sake. While he doesn't exactly carry her, Zach does give her a boost up and over. Teri and Ian, meanwhile, decide they're staying on the road, at least in part (it appears) because of Teri's reticence about jumping fences. "Eye-an," she gripes as he gets out ahead of her again. "You gotta come," he says sternly. "This is our chance." Okay, I admit it. I might call him something other than his name, too, and he would be lucky if it were "Eye-an." Elsewhere, Jill and John Vito stop in somewhere and ask for directions. They're told that the chalet is farther up, which they do not take as good news, but they also can't seem to get directions with any precision, so they're not happy about that either. They're hoping that since they're apart from the rest of the pack, they might be ahead of the pack rather than behind it.

"Teri, it's this way," Ian says. "Are you sure?" she asks. "I'm following the group," he snots back. She comments that the group doesn't necessarily know what it's doing, but he just snarls that if she doesn't hurry up, they'll lose sight of the pack. Up with the pack, Flo is wishing she could find a taxi, because she's beginning to think they're not where they should be at all. Behind them, Ian is distraught. "I lost 'em now. Thanks," he bitches to Teri. "You're welcome," she bitches back, at a loss for anything more creative. They do some more wandering, and then he yells at her again to stay with him. "I know what I'm doing," he insists. He doesn't.

Ken and Gerard stop into a flower shop and ask for directions. They're told that they need to make a left at the church. Derek, now again dogged by Asshat, gets directions and takes Nerd Lust in the same direction that the Bald Snark went -- left at the church. In a jiffy, Nerd Lust passes Gerard and Ken. Elsewhere, Jill and John Vito continue looking for the right road. Jill voices over that no matter how bad things got, they just kept going, because you never know what's going to happen in the race. Flo is running with Derek and Drew toward the church, with Zach dragging behind. After we quickly check in with Asshat, asshatting that they can "smell" the "bad guys" nearby, we return to Flo, who redeems herself slightly by taking her bag back. The Bald Snark is trying to keep an eye on Nerd Lust, but doesn't manage to keep them in sight. Asshat now passes Ken and Gerard, with Ian yammering something about "giv[ing] them the 1-2-3." "Just wait," Teri says flatly. "My pants are falling down." Hee.

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Amazing Race




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