Amazing Race
This Is More Important Than Your Pants Falling Down!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Zach and Jill went up the hill

Jill and John Vito continue wandering.

"We gotta go," Ian snots to Teri again. "My pants. Are falling. Down," Teri says again. "This is more important than your pants falling down," he snots back. "Oh, you think so?" she says. "I know you are, but what am I?" he asks. Oh, no, I'm sorry. What he actually says is, "Yeah, I think so. You're not modest." She makes him stop, and insists that he come around behind her and pull her pants up. She hoists her pack up a little, and he pulls up her pants. This is beginning to make me think that someone who cuts tape for this show doesn't like this team very much, because there isn't a whole lot of purpose to this footage except that to demonstrate what unpleasant people they are. Which, of course, is why I love the way this show is edited. Anyway, once her pants are hoisted, he insists that now they have to run.

The Bald Snark and Nerd Lust reach the church and make the left. Ken and Gerard take a cut to the left again, up a set of stairs. Gerard interviews that he thought it was a worthwhile risk to try to get away from the pack. Yeesh. At any rate, it goes bad almost immediately, and they wind up lost in a field. They try to scramble up the side of a hill, but things aren't looking great. I think there's no question that Ken and Gerard's biggest racing flaw at this point is a tendency to overthink things, and I have to wonder if they're going to outsmart themselves sooner or later.

Jill and John Vito find their way to a taxi stand, of all things.

Nerd Lust gets near the pit stop, and they make a turn up the road. It's uphill again, so ebbing Flo once again hands her pack to Zach. As soon as she gives him her pack, Flo takes off running. "Come on! Like we want it!" he urges.

Elsewhere, the Bald Snark is still lost.

Asshat keeps on trekking up the road. "Either step aside or walk," Ian orders from behind Teri, whom he apparently believes is walking too slowly. "Go on this side," she bitches. "I can't," he snots. "I don't know why I'm always the one who has to move." My God, make it stop.

Flo spots the pit stop flags. "I see it! Come on!" she yells. Zach very humorously interviews that as soon as she handed him her pack, Flo started urging him to go faster. Miss Alli's Brother-In-Law: "Carry your own pack, slacker." Nerd Lust heads for the mat. Zach dumps both packs by the side of the path so that they can move faster, which she endorses.

Welcome, Derek and Drew, you are team number one. I guess they haven't gotten their Easy-Share cameras yet, but they get them now. "Woo hoo!" Derek says, doing his best for the product placement fairies.

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Amazing Race

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