Amazing Race
This Is More Important Than Your Pants Falling Down!

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Zach and Jill went up the hill

Welcome FloZach, you are team number two.

John Vito and a sweaty Jill manage to get themselves into a cab for the chalet. Asshat finds the pit stop flag, while Ken and Gerard continue wandering somewhat aimlessly in the hills. The JVJ cab progresses.

Asshat reaches the mat. "Get with me, we do it together," Ian orders coldly. They hold hands reluctantly, and step onto the mat. Welcome, Team Asshat, you are team number three. Phil tries to give them a broad smile to make up for the intense hatred he flung in their direction last week. They hug with as little affection as possible.

The Bald Snark figures out that they're actually above the meadow where the mat is. Aargh! They wonder if they're third, not realizing that they're now in a race for fourth. They run into a bunch of goats and a barbed-wire fence on their way back down the mountain, as a stressed-out Jill and John Vito sit nervously in the back of their cab. Gerard half-collapses the fence. Goat #1: "Freedom! We have a chance at freedom!" Goat #2: "Not now, I'm eating a shoe." The JVJ cab pulls in at the chalet, but they have a long run down the path to the mat. JVJ and the Bald Snark spot each other, making for the mat from different directions, and they start to peel for the finish.

The music thumps. Ken and Gerard run from above. Jill and John Vito run from the path. Ken and Gerard slide under a fence. Jill and John Vito slide under a fence. Ken and Gerard, tearing toward Phil. Jill and John Vito, tearing toward Phil. BOOM! Ken and Gerard land on the mat. Welcome, Bald Snark, you are team number four. It really was close, because John Vito comes up right behind them as the Bald Snark is being told they're in fourth place.

Jill and John Vito step up to the mat. "John Vito and Jill," Phil intones, "you are the last team to arrive." They stare at him in horrified anticipation. "The good news is..." Jill and John Vito's faces break with relief as Phil explains that this is, as the eighth leg has been in past seasons, one of the non-elimination points, meaning that they are indeed in last place, but they're still in the race. Jill hyperventilates as she comes down from the race to the finish, and she actually makes a little squeaky noise as she tries to get her breath. John Vito encourages her to kneel down for a minute. "I'm okay, I'm okay," she insists. "Just kneel down, you'll feel better," he says, and she does. "I almost had a heart attack," she says to him with a smile. "I don't like coming in last," he says warily. "This is not fun. I guess we needed a taste of it," Jill says.

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Amazing Race

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