Amazing Race
This Is More Important Than Your Pants Falling Down!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Zach and Jill went up the hill

12:45 AM. John Vito and Jill open their clue and add the information that the teams have $240 for the leg. In a pit stop interview, John Vito says that although he and Jill are widely believed to be the nice team, they're willing to do whatever it takes to win. Jill is wearing her camo do-rag, so you know she means it. Fear the do-rag! That will definitely be one of the ridiculously overpriced accessories when Jill gets her own action figure.

FloZach arrives at the Friedrichshafen ferry terminal. (I must say, as lovely as everything is, I will be happy to leave Germany, spelling-wise.) Zach inquires about the ferries, and unsurprisingly, he finds that there's going to be a bit of a wait, because there are no 1:00 AM ferries. The first ferry doesn't leave until 5:41 AM, so it's time to settle in until morning. Unsurprisingly, Flo seems to have custody of Zach's yellow raincoat. We didn't see her moan, "Zaaaach, can I have your cooooat? I'm coooold," but it kinda makes you wonder.

12:53 AM. Team Asshat departs. Blessedly, Ian is letting his scalp breathe free today, and the Pepe Le Pew hat is nowhere in the picture. Maybe it was confiscated by the authorities. They don't take kindly to aesthetic crimes in Europe, you know. "Get in the car," he orders Teri. Then he voices over that no matter what happens, he and Teri have shown "all these young people" that while physical condition may deteriorate with time, the ability to act like a jerk can last well into middle age. Well, actually he says they've shown the youngsters that people their age "can be very competitive," but you can tell he's one of those people for whom the jackass/competitor line isn't too sharply drawn. Of course, I don't think he can even see the line from where he's standing, so perhaps his imprecision is to be expected. They discuss the route, and are convinced that the farm is "right up the road."

Derek and Drew find the farm. They voice their hope that Asshat is not right on their tails. While Asshat isn't on their tails, Jill and John Vito in fact are, so the two teams end up hunting for the clue simultaneously. "This is disgusting," Jill says, amused. Derek and Drew grab the clue first and get away from the haystack. Shortly thereafter, Jill finds one close to the top, tosses it to John Vito, and jumps down. JVJ and the twins read the clue and take off in their cars for the ferry terminal.

In the twin car, they mention that they intend to tell Asshat, if they run into them, that they haven't found the farm yet. They don't mention, incidentally, whether they have discussed this plan with John Vito and Jill. Asshat and the twins do, in fact, meet in their SUVs, driving in opposite directions. "Any luck?" Ian says in a phony-friendly fashion. Yeah, I'm sure they'll be buying that one, Wheedle-In-A-Haystack. "We're still looking," Derek fibs, and the two teams part. "I love being deceitful," Derek remarks as they drive away. Next, Ian confronts John Vito and Jill, who similarly deny any knowledge of where the route marker is. "That was evil," Jill mutters as they drive off. It is not, of course, evil. If you ask other teams for information at this point in the race, you deserve whatever you get in terms of its quality. This is particularly true when you ask for help and you have nothing to offer in return. Nevertheless, Jill and John Vito continue chuckling over the misdirection, speculating that they just may be going to hell for it. "Oh my God, I'm so rude," John Vito says with a guilty grin. Finally, Ian spots the flag. "They found it, they just lied!" Ian says, stunned that any team would fail to provide helpful information when asked. Apparently, he would gladly help any other team that needed an assist. What a fine human being Ian is! The twins and JVJ, meanwhile, cooperate to track down the ferry terminal on a map so they can keep moving.

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Amazing Race




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