Amazing Race
This Is More Important Than Your Pants Falling Down!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Zach and Jill went up the hill

At the haystack, Ian is still walking around muttering about how much everyone sucks for not helping him. Come to Ian's pity party, won't you? I hear there's going to be a band. He starts burrowing in the haystack, but Teri immediately spots a clue sticking out of the side of the haystack about four inches from where he's looking (luck of the evil!), and they turn tail and go.

2:42 AM. The Bald Snark, sucking flat-tire-induced wind on the departure time this morning, takes off. As they pack up, Gerard expresses again his sentiment that any time now, they're going to catch up and pass the other teams, and those teams will say, "Oh, brother, here those two come again." It really is hard to believe karma isn't kicking their asses for this whole "Oh Brother" thing, especially since they had the bad judgment to accompany it with a monogrammed hat. At the farm, Gerard dives into the haystack with gusto. Ken remarks in an interview that Gerard attacked it "like his morning coffee." Really? He attacks his morning coffee with both hands, throwing it behind him? That sounds a little messy to me. And painful. I could believe he's that way with cereal, I guess. Ken and Gerard find the clue and go. In their car, they work on psyching themselves up. "All the other teams, they're idiots! Idiots! I'm surprised they didn't oversleep this morning," Kenny bitches. "They're probably headed towards Italy, all those people," Gerard adds, "led by the Wonder Twins." Ooh, meow! How the Band of Brothers has fallen. Derek is so not sitting with them at lunch anymore.

In fact, however, Derek and Drew and Jill and John Vito are arriving at the ferry just as they're supposed to. Take that, Gerard! When they get there, they meet up with FloZach, and we have our first good look at Flo's unfortunate plaid hat. It's very Sherlock Holmes, if Sherlock Holmes were a sophomore at Sarah Lawrence.

Elsewhere, Ken and Gerard are again talking about how they're on their own now, because the BoB alliance is, "as they say in Germany, kaput!" They say "kaput" a few more times, because it's a fun word, like "fluctuate" and "zabaglione." After we see check in on Asshat arriving at the ferry terminal, we return to Gerard, cackling wickedly about how unhappy the other teams will be to see him and Kenny arriving at the ferry, catching the bunch. Asshat and the Bald Snark meet up at the terminal and have a discussion in which Teri tries to drum up some sympathy regarding the fact that JVJ and the twins misled them about not having found the haystack yet. Surprisingly enough, Ian now seems to have figured out that he has nothing to bitch about, because you can actually hear him muttering rather reasonably, "Well, you can't expect anybody to tell you..." But Teri is indignant: "Can you trust anybody? No." Aw, so pitiful. On the outside, Ken and Gerard nod semi-sympathetically. Kenny even covers his eyes, as if he's horrified at this development. On the inside, I suspect they are chortling. Elsewhere, Jill mentions to John Vito that she gets the impression Teri and Ian are angry with them. I'm sure Jill's heart is breaking, despite the fact that she probably followed up this remark by spitting on the ground.

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Amazing Race




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