Amazing Race
This Is More Important Than Your Pants Falling Down!

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Zach and Jill went up the hill

Waiting for the train, Ken sits on the ground with Flo, leaning on a pillar. "I got your girl," he says to Zach. Zach sits down amiably, not particularly biting on the bait. Kenny asks Flo when she thinks the two of them should start dating. "Immediately upon our return to the United States," she says with a grin. Kenny agrees that they can have their first date as soon as the show is over. Miss Alli's Dad: "Wait, is that Zach?" Miss Alli: "No, that's Kenny. He's gay, actually. He's just kidding." Kenny and Flo exchange a theatrical cheek-kiss, which is observed by a bemused Drew. You can almost see the red light flashing in his head and hear the buzzing noise. Run away, Drew!

At Schaffhausen, Jill and John Vito hop the train. Everyone speculates about everyone else's fate, as the teams at the Rheinfall train station speculate that JVJ is probably in Zurich already and JVJ wonders why other teams aren't on the train with them. Speculation isn't necessary for long, however, because when the non-lead teams hop on the Zurich express train at the Rheinfall station, it turns out to be the very same train JVJ hopped in Schaffhausen. The train pulls out and speeds past some very lovely scenery, which goes by at about a hundred and twenty miles an hour, according to the sped-up footage. Phil repeats exactly the explanation of the Lindenhof clue that he gave about ten minutes ago. As repetitive as Phil often is, this almost seems like a blunder of some kind -- it's hard for me to believe they actually intended to play Phil's spiel about the officer and the underground vault all the way through twice. Weird.

On the train, Flo walks up to Ken and Gerard, who are sitting -- with Ian! Ew! Zach is elsewhere, asking directions to the Lindenhof for when they get off the train, so he manages to miss out on this little powwow. Gerard quizzes Flo on the state of things between her and Zach -- are they boyfriend/girlfriend or what? She coyly remarks that they're just friends. "Flo, I'm telling you, don't let him get away," offers Ian, a clear authority on quality relationships. "Zach is a hell of a nice guy," he continues. "He puts up with all your bullshit, too." Heh. Yeah, that's actually fairly astute for a guy who apparently hasn't heard about any of the advances women have made in the last two or three hundred years. I suppose even stopped clocks are right twice a day and so forth. "Would you rather Drew?" Gerard asks her. She grins. "Oooh!" the Bald Snark comes back. "He's hot." This becomes Kenny's new refrain: "Drew's hot. Flo's hot. Flo's hot, Drew's hot." It's like a Dr. Seuss book. With some really funky and inappropriate drawings, I would expect. Somewhere in an interview, Flo comments that officially, she's on the trip with Zach, but Drew? Not too shabby, especially considering that he doesn't have the hair issues or the raincoat.

After Flo takes a little more "Drew's hot, Flo's hot" from Ken and Gerard, Ian adds that it's "chili pepper time." Now, see? Up until that moment, he had managed to socialize with moderate success for fully ten or fifteen seconds. But "chili pepper time"? Ew. In a Bald Snark interview, Kenny remarks that, considering his close relationship with Flo, he might have to "kick Drew's ass." This cracks Gerard up, not surprisingly. Tense music accompanies close-ups of Drew and Zach. Are you engrossed in the tantalizing story of Flo and Drew? Yeah, me neither. Wake me up if there's nudity.

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Amazing Race

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