Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
Hay Fever

"Elapsed Time 1 HR 55 M," reads the graphic on the screen as poor Gary continues unrolling bales while the sun looks pretty low in the sky. It's not clear whether the 1:55 is the time since Sam finished or since they got there, but (spoiler!) I guess we'll find out during next week's departure times "You got this, Dad!" Matt calls for the umpteenth time. Gary interviews post-leg, "If you give up, you're giving up on the race and it's not in me. I've got more drive than that." He says he has a pretty strong work ethic. "Pretty strong?" Matt asks sardonically. In the field, Gary asks Matt if watching is tiring him out. Matt interviews, "I just wanted to do something and I'm sitting there helpless." Isn't that a lot like farming, too?

But 2 hours and 46 minutes in, Gary gets to the end of a bale with the flag in the very center. "Son of a bitch," he mutters, picking it out. They jog to the mat to face the music. Phil tells them, as if they didn't know, that they're the last team to arrive. "I'm sorry to tell you that..." ... pause... pause...lacuna...pause...interval...caesura..."...the next leg of the race is going to be a tough one. The good news is this is a non-elimination leg and you are still in the race." Of course they are. Phil never fucks with people when he's about to eliminate them for real. He warns them about the Speed Bump they'll face in the next leg, "And right now, time is not on your side." You mean they might actually get to the airport hours behind everyone else and not still make it on the same flight again? What are the chances of that happening twice in one season? Phil asks Matt for thoughts on his dad. Without hesitation, Matt says, "My dad is Superman." Well, then why didn't he use his x-ray vision, then? Gary wipes away a tear as Matt praises his dad's perseverance, and then Gary holds up the little flag as triumphantly as he can manage considering he looks ready to collapse. "We're still racing right now and we're gonna continue racing," he interviews. "We're not gonna give up. No, we're going to take it to the limit." They dance away from the mat, probably due to the extra-funky music that's getting played over the closing credits this week.

Oh, and don't forget, my inimitable predecessor Miss Alli has been and will continue to recap this season, right here, for charity. 'Morning, Sam.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]

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Amazing Race




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