Amazing Race

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Hay Fever

Meghan and Cheyne arrive, Cheyne complaining, "That was the longest point-two kilometers ever." "Meghan and Cheyne are here!" Dan bellows to Sam. "Shut up!" Sam yells back. Meghan reads the clue and asks Cheyne who should do it, but Cheyne has completely checked out and doesn't say a word. "I kinda felt like she was taking the lead this leg and she was calling the shots." Cheyne interviews afterwards. Translation: "If she wants to yell at me, then she can be in charge." Yes, I speak a little Japanese, but I'm much more fluent in the international language of passive-aggression. "Cheyne, speak. Me or you?" she repeats. When he still doesn't answer, she heads on out there. Finally he finds his tongue, saying. "You got it, baby." She doesn't love dealing with the bale wrappers, but I think she prefers that to dealing with Cheyne right now.

Dan, meanwhile, is critiquing Sam's technique, telling him to unroll faster. Sam, already very sweaty, tells Dan he needs to stop talking for ten minutes. "Okay!" Sam says. Don't bother to synchronize your watches.

Cheyne tosses Meghan her gloves, and she asks him to talk to her while she does this. She struggles to get one rolling, saying, "This is the worst thing I've ever done in my life." Wow, she's had an awesome life, then.

Here come the Globetrotters.

Sam is kicking through the trail of a bale he's half unrolled, complaining about how he's supposed to find anything, when Dan bellows at him, "Did you see that there's about two hundred in there? You're still on your second one!" Sam asks for another ten minutes of silence from Dan. "Stop spending so much time on one!" Dan bellows two seconds later. You'd think that since Dan seems to have done his homework on this task, he might have heard somewhere that Lena actually unrolled at least one hay bale with a flag in it that she never found. Because that's what I heard, even though I can't cite my source right now. Dan yells at him to shut up again, but that doesn't seem to count against Dan's update that "Harlem's here too." Big Easy is taking it, with Flight Time asking him for a birthday present in the form of finding the flag. "Happy birthday!" Meghan pants from over the wreckage of the hay bale she's searching. Flight Time thanks her. "And do me a favor and don't find that needle for my birthday until after Big Easy finds his," he adds. "Same thing for you too, Sam and Dan." That's a flagrant abuse of birthday power.

Brian and Ericka nearly have their bunker finished by the time Gary and Matt show up for the Nobel Dynamite, Matt advising, the "you hold, I'll shovel" method. Briana and Ericka soon finish, blow shit up (taking care to cover the gnome, for its safety, you know), and get their clue from the blast crater. Passing a very busy Gary and Matt, Brian says, "It's a blast, pardon the pun." No, I don't think I will. They're off to the farm. Before long, Gary and Matt are finished as well, which is a pretty clear endorsement of the "you hold, I'll shovel" system, Cheyne.

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Amazing Race

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