Amazing Race

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Finished Business

Gary and Mallory show up in second place, and it's a no-brainer that she'll be taking this one. As she goes to change, Zev describes to the dance to us in the most prosaic way possible, and Justin says, "I've seen him dance, but not sober. Luckily we have a lead." For now. Out comes Mallory in a blue-feathered outfit, and Gary says, "She's kind of a tomboy but she knows how to dance." She interviews that she's been dancing for 22 years, ever since she was three, not that she just gave away her age or anything. "I love that stage. It's where I belong." Complete with the Muppet-faces.

Kisha and Jen's cabdriver drops them off -- but in the wrong place, so they find themselves wandering around looking for it, and bickering, and flashing back to being lost in Beijing during TAR14 in China, like that's the only place they ever got lost. But finally, some soldiers direct them one block that way and one block that way -- so they get in a cab. Blocks are pretty long in Rio, I take it.

After what may or may not be a brief search back at the staircase, Flight Time and Big Easy find the Route Info tile and get a cab. "Emergency," Flight Time tells the driver. At least they have a new cabbie now.

At the samba stage, Mallory is somewhat challenged by the speed of the steps, but at least she looks like she's dancing. As opposed to Zev, who's moving as though he's on the pitching deck of a shrimp boat during the perfect storm. Mallory is allowed off the stage to give it a try for the judge, so she and her dancers get to proceed to wherever she is. It's hard to tell exactly how far it is, because it's carefully shot and edited to look like they're not just traipsing around the square. Zev also gets to give it a try, with Justin following along calling out encouragement the whole way. Mallory and a guy in a white suit dance right up to the judge ,who gives her a smile and a nod and a "SIM," so she's done with the Road Block, hugging her teachers like they just pulled her out of a mountain crevasse. She and Gary then get their next clue, telling them to go to Copacabana and find a "salon." Knowing what's coming next, the word "salon" has never been more sinister. They jump in a cab, Gary congratulating her the whole way.

Zev lurches up to the judge, moving like a Martin Short character with epilepsy, and unsurprisingly gets a head-shake and a "NAO" from the judge. Just like SIM is YES, I assume NAO is short for NAO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? His teachers lead him back to the stage, where Justin tells him to get it right there. "Dancing's not his thing," Justin understates. Kisha and Jen arrive belatedly, while Justin is telling Zev to "feel the beat" and "loosen up," which, he might as well be telling Zev to "levitate" or "travel through time." Kisha comes out wearing an orange-feathered outfit and gets right into the lessons.

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Amazing Race

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