Amazing Race

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Finished Business

Zev and Justin show up at the beach, and Justin tasks Zev with carrying the bikini umbrella (or the umbralla, if you will) so he can do the barking. His sales technique appears to be getting on his knees and begging people in decent high-school Spanish. Needless to say it's not going well, this being a Portuguese-speaking country. They almost sell one to a blurry-assed woman spread-eagled on a towel, but even that Brazilian moon goddess is too modest to try it on, so no sale. "Nobody's going to change in front of boys," Zev says. "Or us," Justin adds. Zev is getting sarcastic like he does when he's frustrated. "Thanks a lot! This is awesome!" "We need somebody who's drunk," Justin says. Good idea. Go make a hundred caipirinhas and see what happens. They continue getting nowhere while the other three teams implacably rack up more and more drinks. Not good.

After the ads, Zev and Justin finally find a customer who gives them what they need. Not a sale, but a harsh truth, namely, "Sorry, guys, we are in bikinis already. We don't need any more." Which applies to every one of the millions of women on Copacabana Beach this fine sunny day. Will Team Asperger's get the message in time?

Gary and Mallory are up to 94 drinks, with Jen and Kisha up to 58. Jen says she really wants one, but Kisha reminds her that every one counts. Also, Jen should not be allowed to drink anything at all during the penultimate leg, just on general principle. The Globetrotters have a good pace going at 50, but by the time we get back to Gary and Mallory they're on their last two. Looks like the shaker holds enough for two glasses, so they're almost done. "We don't have any problem drinking all of them after we're done," Big Easy assures his judge, who responds with a thumbs-up that indicates he didn't understand a word. Finally Gary and Mallory are done and on their way to the next Pit Stop. That would be the Museum of Contemporary Art. Phil describes this structure as "eye-catching," which is a bit of an understatement for a building that looks like a white flying saucer landing on a peninsula. Walking on the beach that the museum overlooks, Phil says the last team to check in down there will be eliminated, and he means it this time. Mallory seems the opposite of worried about that as she and Gary get in their cab. That leaves the sisters and the Globetrotters still mixing drinks, one of which is still occasionally going in the trash.

Which, coincidentally, is where Zev and Justin's hopes for this leg are at this point. Back amid the white sands and blurry asses of the beach, Justin is still working hard to sell: "Is anybody really rich?" He gives a desperate sales pitch in Spanish to one woman, but she doesn't understand, because, again, Portuguese-speaking country. Zev suggests switching tasks, and they figure they might as well. I say the time to switch would have been before they got here. Or, failing that, at the Road Block.

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Amazing Race

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