Amazing Race
This is Wicked Strange

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Digging Out

Art and JJ make it to the Pit Stop and are told they're team number two. That's good enough for them, in a leg with a Fast Forward they couldn't participate in. "Cause it's actually a win," Art claims. Well, I wouldn't go that far.

Joey "Fitness" and Danny get to the carpet shop, quickly find the Detour clue and decide on Apples. Where Jamie and Vanessa have determined that the apple they're looking for is in neither of their trunks, so they join their partners searching the partitioned-off back seats. One of the spectators starts yelling, "Faster, faster, faster!" in subtitled Azeri or whatever and Ralph guesses, "He's either yelling at us to go faster or something about Vanessa's melons." I think the subtitle writers were just guessing anyway. Vanessa doesn't think her melons are visible, "But I am going commando." Apples are rolling around free all over the place, I guess. Nary finds the apple with the flag stem on it in their back seat, so she and Jamie get to collect their Pit Stop clue. They have a little celebration with the crowd on their way back to their taxi. "Come on, apple! Frick-frack are you? Cheese and crackers," Vanessa non-curses. Unfortunately the fake swearing still leads to real ads.

We come back with them still searching and Vanessa comparing the "apple avalanches" to the watermelon task that nearly took them out a few legs ago. Come on, lady, "Apple-anche" was right there.

Bopper and Mark run to the mat with their typical quiet decorum, saying to never give up on Kentucky. Brendon and Rachel are right behind them and Phil checks them in as teams three and four, respectively. Brendon says they went from sixth to fifth to fourth and they'll keep going to the million. "Have to go through us, hey hey!" Bopper bellows, but they all shake hands and high-five anyway, until the cone of silence drops down over all four of them. Hey, I can dream. Actually, Brendon and Rachel were quite bearable this week. That's almost as good as being gone.

Team Jersey is on their way to the apple Detour. Because, you know they're from the Big Apple. Danny even dares to hope they can stick their hands right in and pull one out. Much in the way they look for dates at the club.

Nary and Jamie arrive at the mat. "Give us something good, Phil," Jamie says. They're a bit disappointed to be team number five, but not a lot. Clearly the oil Detour was the faster of the options.

"Cheese and crackers!" Vanessa says again, but soon she and Ralph find the apple they've been hunting for. Before opening heir last clue, Ralph takes a bite out of theirs. That'll keep the doctor away, at least. In their taxi, Ralph says, "Come on, be a good cabdriver." Which just jinxes them, of course. They're already gone by the time Joey "Fitness" and Danny arrive at the apple task, so this doesn't look like a terribly suspenseful finish. But then Joey "Fitness" and Danny make an actual, bona fide, no-shit smart decision, choosing a car with green apples to search through, I assume so that the flag will stand out more. I fully admit that I may be giving them too much credit. Unfortunately for Ralph and Vanessa, their cab is parked somewhere, as their driver has wandered off to get directions to the Esplanade. One can assume that it's somewhere near the seashore, right? Team Jersey is now working together on the back seat of their Lada, saying it's worse than a needle in a haystack -- it's an apple in an apple stack. Danny says his grandfather used to grow apples, so he used to do unload apples all the time. Finally, something in his comfort zone. Meanwhile, Ralph and Vanessa are standing outside their cab, wondering where their driver has gotten to. And Team Jersey has found their apple, apparently faster than any other team did. Danny jauntily tosses it into the air as they collect their clue. "We might still be in this, bro," he says as they run back to their cab. Now it's Joey who's being optimistic, reminding us that they jumped from tenth to second. Except now they seem to be heading back there. Finally Vanessa and Ralph's driver comes jogging back. "Cheese and crackers," Ralph says, but at least the cabbie seems to know where they're going now. Which allows, after all, for the obligatory tensely-edited, two-way taxi race to the Pit Stop. But that could all just be the editing, because the next team to show up is Vanessa and Ralph. "You are still in the race, but you are team number six," Phil tells them. "Whoa, cheese and crackers," Vanessa says. That's four times that team has said that. Cheese and crackers, find a new expression. Vanessa says she's happy and grateful to still be alive, "but obviously there's a lot of room for improvement." And very little room for the opposite. Again.

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Amazing Race

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