Amazing Race
This Seems Like The Path Straight To Hell!

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At 12:15 AM, the second bus does something that causes a big crashing noise.

Commercials. Hey, that dork has my cell phone. Do I have to get a different one now?

The racers on The Bus Of Doom get up to check out the damage. It appears that the bus has collided with a white car, and both are out of commission. As Derek and Drew explain the situation in the middle of the night, both are wearing their glasses (probably took their contacts out before they went to sleep). I must have a really overwhelming and pathological geek fetish, because this is the first time they've looked hot to me, ever. I think it's partly because I normally find their eyes sort of small and beady, and the glasses help alleviate that. Or else I just have a thing for geeks, which I wouldn't discount as a possibility. The bus lady informs the anxious teams that they'll be getting a new bus in about twenty or thirty minutes. Everyone laments the additional delay. Bus #1, on the other hand, continues to race along happily. Heather shows us that she is eating peanut butter and jelly. How fascinating. Meanwhile, those on The Bus Of Doom get aboard a new bus so they can get on their way again. Tramel and Talicia tell us that it's nothing to worry about. All they need is a spark, because they're Team TnT. I'm telling you -- naming yourself? Is bad luck. Ask the "Gutsy Grannies."

Morning comes, and the first bus gets to Cancun. Everyone runs for taxis. There is a lot of confirming with cab drivers that they know where the marina is. In the Aaron/Arianne cab, Aaron explains that they aren't sure whether they'll be needing their swimsuits today, and since they've only been on the bus for twenty-four hours and obviously had no opportunity to change in a bathroom or anything, Arianne will be taking her top off in the cab. But it's by necessity, really. They're not attention hounds or anything. "Girls Gone Wild!" she shouts in a way she is sure is very, very funny, as she whips her shirt off in the back of the taxi, to the great amusement of the driver. There just isn't enough "whatever" in the world to properly service this scene.

The HugeTinies arrive at the marina at about the same time, along with Jill Shake Your John Bon Vito, Ken and Gerard, and Heave. It's Team Bus Number One, still bunching in a big bunchy bunch. They pull the clue, and it's a Detour. Two tasks, pros and cons. The choices this week are Horsepower or Manpower. In Horsepower, you get on a WaveRunner and search a big area for your clue. In Manpower, you get in a kayak and search a small area. Zach and Flo, Aaron and Arianne, and Heave are all over the WaveRunners, because of course you look much cooler on a WaveRunner than in a kayak. Michael and Kathy, Jill Bon Jovito, and Ken and Gerard, on the other hand, opt for the kayak. Arianne snots in an interview that Michael and Kathy didn't do the skydive and chose the kayak, so she fears that Michael's "cowardice" is something that will interfere with Kathy's "needing a big strong man around." Clearly, she does not understand the complex theory of detours. This detour is not about cowardice. This is not a Reckless/Chicken detour. It's a Tortoise/Hare detour. You could find the clue very quickly using the WaveRunners, or you could struggle a lot, as we will see later. The kayak is (or should be) a fairly safe choice, assuming you keep your cool. Among other things, Arianne is one of those girls who says everything with the pitch of her voice going up at the end? As if she's asking a question? No matter what she's saying? After a while, that habit makes me absolutely nuts. If you combine that with the fact that she's one of those people who thinks if you say something completely stupid, but you know it's completely stupid (as with the "cowardice"/"big strong man" line), that is, in and of itself, funny. Which it isn't. She just crossed over right there from mildly annoying to really and seriously annoying. Shut up.

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Amazing Race

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