Amazing Race
This Seems Like The Path Straight To Hell!

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All four trailing teams head for the WaveRunners. Meanwhile, in Cozumel, the HugeTinies and Heave pile off the ferry and grab taxis.

Dennis and Andrew seem to be first among the trailers on WaveRunners to find the clue. Talicia, meanwhile, is in charge of driving the WaveRunner, but she seems to be very afraid of crashing it or missing the clue or something, because she's using it as more of a WaveCrawler. She's actually driving it as if to avoid creating any waves. I also think Tramel's sitting too far back -- he's got his pack between their bodies, and he weighs substantially more than she does, so I think they've got too much weight in the wrong place. He needs to scoot up and put his arms around her so they move their collective weight forward. I know, my advice is so helpful to them now. Sigh. Tramel encourages her to hit the throttle a little harder, but it's too late -- they tip over and fall in. I think what she didn't really get about the WaveRunners is that it's safer to zip along than it is to putter. Sigh. "I could walk faster," he complains. Probably true.

Andre and Damon are next to reach the clue. As Tramel and Talicia try to get back on board, he voices over that one of her roles is to calm him down when he starts to freak out. She gets back on the WaveRunner all right, but as he climbs up, it tips again and dumps them yet again. "This is just a comedy of errors," she comments quite correctly. "I know. At least I get to pee, though," he adds, looking on what can, strangely enough, be considered "the bright side."

As Ian drives himself and Teri along in the WaveRunner, he abruptly tips it and dumps them both in the water. Whee! Are you starting to see how it's Tortoise/Hare? The kayak may not be so zippy, but you're unlikely to spend half an hour in the water because you can't get the hang of it.

Commercials. Videotape of your family is not enough, you technologically backward loser. You must have family DVDs to properly preserve your memories. Otherwise, you will forget everything that has ever happened.

Now, both Tramel and Talicia and Teri and Ian are trying to get back aboard their WaveRunners. Ian keeps telling Teri, "You gotta get on, girl!" I would actually think that was charming if it didn't sound so much like the way I think he talked to the donkey last week. ["Also, you can call your wife 'girl,' or you can wear that assy hat. Not both." -- Sars] Andre and Damon get their Jeep and head for Cozumel, while Tramel and Talicia finally get into the zone with the WaveRunner. Teri and Ian get to the clue, and he keeps yelling at her to "wait a minute" while she's trying to grab it. I just do not like him one bit. He gives me the creepy crawlies. I miss Davey bitterly. Where have all the pilots gone? Tramel and Talicia finally find the clue and get moving, but then they tip over yet again. This is almost as painful as watching the Twins' seventh inning yesterday. Although for it to be that agonizing, it would have to go on for, like, an hour.

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Amazing Race

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