Amazing Race
This Seems Like The Path Straight To Hell!

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Aaron and Arianne find their way to the Roadblock. Remember that a Roadblock is a task that only one team member performs. Or if you don't remember, listen to Phil, because he tells you. In this particular Roadblock, the selected person puts on a snorkel mask and fins, dives into a highly artificial and climate-controlled environment where some heavily sedated dolphins are swimming around in a placid manner, and picks up a clue from the bottom of the "ocean" or "pool" or "hot tub" or whatever it actually is. Phil actually says that the selected person has to "swim among a family of dolphins as they search for clues hidden on the bottom." I really don't think the family of dolphins is going to search for the clues that hard, so I wouldn't count on much help from them. Aaron and Arianne high-five, although they do refrain from the "Woo!" But then she yells, "Dolphiiiins!" Which is pretty much just as bad.

Tramel, still in the water, reads the Cozumel clue aloud, and then laboriously drags himself back on to the WaveRunner. Teri and Ian get their Jeep and head out, with Ian saying he's "afraid [they're] out of it," but they have to keep going. She looks grim. Which is sort of how she looks most of the time, actually. They don't really seem like happy people.

Flo and Zach reach the Roadblock, followed by Heave and Michael and Kathy. Michael tells Kathy he'll do the swim, and then he voices over that he did this before he remembered he can't swim. Ha! He has a whole sort of slur-voiced Benicio del Toro thing going on, like he just woke up all day long. It's kinda deadpan cute. Heather takes the swim for Heave, and Zach takes it for his team. Enya-esque music plays as Arianne dives into the water. The dolphins circle her, already finding her irritating. Well, they always say dolphins are smart. The editors don't forget to give you the obligatory shot of Heather dramatically flinging her shirt off as she prepares for the dive. Flo calls Zach "Z" as he gets in the water, and I think if you have a friend whose name starts with a Z, you simply cannot call him "Z." It's just too damn easy. "That way! That way!" Flo yells, having no idea which way he should actually go, but not allowing that to limit her in the giving of advice. Finally, Michael gets wet.

Arianne emerges with the clue first (feh), and she and Aaron read it on the dock. You'll recall that it says "Diamante K Bungalows," but Aaron reads it as "Dynamite K." Good grief. I understand struggles with driving stick or speaking Spanish or what have you, but reading out loud? Yeah, you should be able to handle that one. Turns out it's a fifty-seven mile drive to the pit stop, so there's plenty of time to get lost. Zach emerges with the clue next, which leads to plenty of jumping up and down from Flo. Michael, meanwhile, worries that he's not going to be able to find the clue at all, with the trouble he's having breathing and the salt water he's been swallowing. Heather finds the clue next, and she and Eve head out. Michael struggles, but finally, he digs deep and comes up with the clue. "I sucked it up," he interviews. Good man. That's how you do it. Kathy chuckles as she helps him out of the water. "You did good," she tells him quietly. Aw. "I can't kayak, I can't skydive, I can't swim," he says as he puts his shirt on, "but I can cook, though." "You can, because you did it," she protests. I kinda like them.

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Amazing Race

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