Amazing Race
This Seems Like The Path Straight To Hell!

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4:09 AM. It's Andre and Damon's start time, but they show up a bit late to The Mat Of Destiny, muttering that they overslept. As they get underway, Phil explains, over some tense wocka-wocka exposition music, that in the first leg, they accidentally failed to follow the mapped course during the donkey cart ride, so they have been penalized forty-eight minutes for the actual time they gained with the unauthorized shortcut, as well as what Phil calls the "standard minimal punitive penalty" of thirty minutes, for a total of seventy-eight penalty minutes. Phil says this as if we are all familiar with the standard minimum punitive penalty, which we are not. It's apparently a new thing -- just another step toward mandatory sentencing, which is certainly all the rage. Never let it be said that they don't change with the times. I have to say, actually, that I see this as a positive development. I've always thought the ability to follow the clues correctly and abide by the rules should play a bigger part in the result than it does (hello, minibus/taxi scandal), so if they're taking a step in that direction, it's a blessing. As they take off, they discuss the complications of Montezuma's Revenge and the fact that they didn't get to brush their teeth. There's something about that juxtaposition that's a little bit wrong, but I don't really want to give it a whole lot of thought.

4:28 AM. Tramel and Talicia take off. In their SUV, they slap hands and call themselves "TnT." When will these people learn that you're not allowed to name your own team? Do we look like we need help over here? They lament the bad luck they had on the first leg, but they vow to move on.

The MeHugeYouTiny Alliance has hit a snag, as Zach now seems to be navigating them in a rather aimless pattern around Mexico City. Ha! Aaron comments that while it may not be an "official alliance" (and four teams is much too big for an effective alliance on this show, incidentally, considering that it means trying to get sixteen people on a plane at a time), they have all "bonded together to edge out the twins." Arianne says that it's everyone against the twins. Aaron deems them "too pretty." Translation: We're not really comfortable with ourselves, so the way to make ourselves feel like we fit in as quickly as possible is to find someone to gang up on. How very Big Brother of them. Who knew there would be such an obvious parallel between Derek and Drew and Gerry? Aaron and Arianne interview vapidly about how the twins don't need to win, but they do. Bitch bitch bitch, mug mug mug. Yawn.

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Amazing Race

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