Amazing Race
This Seems Like The Path Straight To Hell!

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Andre and Damon pull up outside and note the buses. "Look at those buses, dawg." Well...it's a bus station, after all.

All of the MeHugeYouTinies make it onto the first bus with Gerard and Ken and Jill and John Vito (who I'm starting to enjoy enough that I hesitate to lump them in with the rest) and Heave. Andre and Damon almost make it, but not quite. They lament having missed the first bus, and I can't blame them. But you know, it's a game of minutes. Rob said it in Season One, and Blake said it in Season Two, so it must be true. Oracles, I tell you. Both of them.

Andre and Damon are joined at the bus station by the trailing teams, including Teri and Ian, Derek and Drew, Tramel and Talicia, and Andrew and Dennis. "The little gap that we had, the teams behind us, they caught up," Andre laments. I send him a TWoP/TAR dictionary, with "bunching" circled. Derek and Drew discuss their fate with Ian, who points out that there are several teams ahead of them. Incidentally, Derek and Drew are wearing matching de-sleeved shirts in a little gingham-y check. One in red, one in blue. They're like a walking Frank room. They should have rooster tattoos, and then instead of having real six-pack bellies, they could just paint pictures of six-pack bellies on themselves. Anyway, Ian tells them that he thinks the FF will stake them to a spot in the top five in the end of the leg, since they'll be able to skip the rest of the tasks once they get to Cancun. In an interview, Derek and Drew point out that the entire point of the FF is to be first. They're kind of dopey, but they make a good point. I think Ian is maybe not quite grasping how much leg is probably left at this point. Ian, back in the Pepe Le Pew hat, says that one of the four non-FF teams will be eliminated. "We're hoping it's not us." Well, dare to dream.

Phil, with the help of an especially tired-looking Amazing Yellow Line, says that the teams are on a twenty-four-hour bus ride to Cancun. Yuck. You'd have to start that trip with, "Four hundred thousand bottles of beer on the wall, four hundred thousand bottles of beer...." When they get there, they need to find the San Marino Marina. Phil recaps who's on what bus, in case you became distracted by the hypnotic AYL. First bus is Ken and Gerard, John Jill Bon Vito, the MeHugeYouTinies, and Heave. Note the cameraman caressing John Vito's arm. Mm, John Vito's arm. On the second bus are the Gingham Posse, Teri and the Pew, Tramel and Talicia, Andre and Damon, and Andrew and Dennis.

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Amazing Race

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